Scholma Nation - Homeland of Chaos

Update

2010-10-11T19:32:00.000-07:00

go to www.ernietaeger.blogspot.com for updates ; )

MAJOR PRAYER REQUEST!

2010-10-10T15:52:00.001-07:00

My father went in for a regular physical a couple of weeks ago. When they checked his heart there was a "tiny" blip on the monitor or whatever you call it. I am not a doctor so I am talking "elizabeth physician talk". It was so minor that the doctor and my father were debating on whether or not he should explore it further. Well they opted better to be safe than sorry.

From what I understand this past Friday my dad went in to have a procedure done that puts dye or something like that into his heart to see if there is anything wrong. It could have been another procedure but this is what I understand. Well - long story short - 1 artery is 90% clogged and the other 3 are clogged too.

SO - tomorrow my father is going to have QUADRUPLE bypass surgery. Oh how my heart hurts right now (no pun intended). I was anxious about life being so uncertain anyways and now that this is going on I feel like I cannot breathe.

My father is precious. I have my own little jokes with him and he has been one of the biggest encouragements in my life. He always compliments and pushes me along in the right direction. I am blessed to have him as my daddy. This is not something I want him to go through. I don't want him to hurt. When he hurts I seriously will be hurting.

Please pray for Ernie. And please pray that our house sells so we can get up there. We have a contract with a contingency but their house has not sold either. Randy is going to St. Louis in 2 weeks so the girls can start school and Randy starts work on the 29th. Again we will have to be apart until the house sells. On a side note - if anyone knows of a place that Randy and the kids can stay near U City or Clayton for about a month - please let me know.

But most importantly PLEASE pray tomorrow morning for my dad. Pray for the doctors and that they can manage his pain. Pray for my mom because she will be the main caregiver. And it is not like she hasn't had a hard year either (loosing both of her parents, helping me while Randy was gone, etc.).

Thank you my dear prayer warriors!!

don't worry little ones...

2010-09-20T15:04:00.000-07:00

I will continue posting...but the Scholma family is in the state of figuring out when we will be moving back to good ole STL...We are thinking 4 weeks....phew! That is gonna go by so fast...

I have so many stories and I promise when I get some time I will blog about them ; )

home sweet home...

2010-09-09T10:15:00.000-07:00

I am actually surprised how fast our family has gotten back into our little groove. I must say I have forgotten how messy a man can be - haha! But I will take that any time over him being gone.

I can tell Randy is exhausted and it is going to take some time for him to get his energy back. It has taken him a couple of days of signing in at the Air Force Base. He finally completed it today so now he is so ready to relax!

On labor day we had a showing so it took us by surprise. Our current contract on our house has a contingency with the buyer so we will still have showings. We are confident and have faith that the Lord will take care of her house selling and that everything will work out.

Today we have the inspector at 1pm to look over the house. I am dreading the "to do" list. But at least I won't have to do the things by myself ; )

On another note our 2 year old cracks us up - Whenever John gets in trouble with Randy he comes to me and then when I scold him he goes to Daddy - what a little player!

I still have to write the story about the week before Randy got home but I have to clean up and get this crew out of the house so the inspector dude can find ~~everything~~ nothing wrong with our house.

Thanks again for all your love and support! He is just so faithful!

Homecoming....

2010-09-06T09:30:00.000-07:00

Click the image below to see the video of Randy coming home!

Praise the Lord! He is so faithful and HE is so good!

details

2010-09-04T20:34:00.001-07:00

Okay! He has landed in Maryland!! I just talked to him at his hotel and he texted me this photo:

He is thrilled to take a shower in his bare feet. I guess they wore flip flops in the showers overseas.

He is flying American Airlines from Dallas and will arrive in San Antonio at 11:40 am. We are all meeting by the security section. Be sure to wear red white and blue. And PLEASE don't feel awkward if you want to come. There are going to be several people there and I know Randy will appreciate you being there and showing your support. But either text me or email me if you want to go to lunch. I made reservations already but I might need to up the number ; )

And again - anyone is welcome and so are your kiddos.

I am just so thankful and praising my sweet Jesus tonight for bringing my baby back to the states.

Photos and hopefully a video will come probably tomorrow night ; )

The day has arrived!

2010-09-04T15:09:00.001-07:00

Okay we are all just giddy with excitement! Randy called me in the middle of the night from Germany and then this morning from England. He is on the plane right now from England to Baltimore. Tomorrow morning he flies from Maryland to Dallas to San Antonio. He will be arriving at 11:40 am but I will know all the details tonight when he calls.

Anyone is welcome to come to the airport to greet him. There are already about 20 people coming : )

Send me an email at elizabeth@madlucy.com so I know to email or text you with all the final info.

And on another note - our house has a contract on it! Praise Jesus! He is more than faithful. I have a super story about all of this but it is long and we have been crazy busy getting ready for Dr. Scholma to arrive so I haven't had the time ; ) But I will post it in a couple of days because it is a testament of the Lord's faithfulness.

Randy had quite a list of food that he wanted in the fridge - very specific beers that I didn't know anything about so I just went to World Market and got an assortment - I can't go wrong with that, right?!

Say a prayer Randy doesn't get delayed especially in Dallas. At least they have a playground that he can play on ; )

absent

2010-09-02T23:35:00.001-07:00

I know I have been absent for a while. There are so many reasons why...but you will just have to wait until tomorrow because it is 1:35 am and I have to go bed. My mom is back in town. So I know everyone is going to wake up bright and early ; )

Praying that Randy arrives in San Antonio at 11:40 am this Sunday morning. The anticipation is like Christmas here at the Scholma household ; )

Hurry up and wait!

2010-08-31T23:30:00.000-07:00

Well...at least I've made it this far.

I have finally made it out of Afghanistan. It ended up being 1 day short of 2 weeks. The bulk of the last 3 days were spent in and around the terminal getting bumped off flights. We had 3 flights canceled in 3 days and finally took off on the 4th try.

Our baggage was locked up on pallets all that time, so I was living out of my backpack. We were supposed to pack a "72 hour bag" for our time here at Manas, Kyrgystan, but I had to wash it all the day before we left because it was all dirty. I spent 3 hours in the laundry tent to do one load of laundry. But then, what else did I have to do?

One of the hardest parts was sleep. Our first three canceled flights were in the middle of the night and everyone reports about 6-8 hours before the flight to go through customs and processing (but mostly just to wait). We were usually told the flight was canceled around the flight time. I was talking to another member who was in my group and we figured we spent about 30 hours in "lock down" waiting for flights over 3 days. This is when we are not allowed to leave the terminal, even for meals. We did have some porta-johns to use, though.

Now I'm at Manas AFB in Kyrgystan. Don't worry, I'm here and I don't know where Kyrgystan is either. We stopped here on the way in to theater as well. It's pretty nice - certainly better than Bagram. We sleep in a huge "clamshell" tent with close to 100 bunk beds in it. I slept hard last night - I had some catching up to do.

I should spend a few days here and head home. Right now the plan is to leave on the 4th. The original plan was the 2nd - but we all know how that works. There's wireless internet here, so I'll be busy today putting 8 months worth of updates on my computer and phone. I have to catch up with the rest of the world again. Otherwise, its back to eating, sleeping, the gym, and...well...that's about it.

My hope is to celebrate Labor Day at home with my family. Now wouldn't that be nice? After a little more than 8 months away (I left on 2 Jan).

One step closer. I'll catch that guy with the light at the end of the tunnel yet.

Just when I thought...

2010-08-29T01:58:00.000-07:00

The short of it is that I'm still at Bagram AF in Afghanistan. The same place I've been for 11 days now. Here's how yesterday into today went down:

I had a show time for my flight at 1530. I showed a little early, was confirmed for the flight, and the easy part was done. We were told to wait until 1800 to drag our bags over to Customs. I've waited this long, what's another few hours. I read my book and watched TV mostly.

At 1800 we hauled our bags the 100m or so to the Customs building. We were briefed on what we could and could not take out of the country. No contraband for me except for some insect repellant...which I was issued...and its contraband...but I was forced to take it...exactly.

I volunteered for bag detail to pass the time quicker. This also meant that we had our bags inspected first. Now, with all the time I had, I packed and repacked my bags about 3 times. Everything had its place. Dad, you would be proud. What I thought was that the customs people would paw through my bag a bit. What I soon learned was that we had to unload every single little item out of every single one of our bags onto the tables. Mind you, I have 4 large bags, a backpack, and my weapons case. And this is what most people have. They pawed through our stuff until it was all nice and disheveled and then instructed us to throw it back in our bags as quickly as we could so we could keep the line moving. We did have over 100 people to process after all. Just amazing.

The process takes about 20-30 minutes per person, including the full body scan, and there were about 8-10 stations going at a time. We started a little after 1800 and finished about 3.5 hours later. My hands were a little raw from carrying bags out through the back door for that time. One more step in the right direction, though, right?

We waited upstairs where they had dinner for us...Pop-tarts, cereal, beef jerky, and cookies. Yum. We waiting while watching movies on a DVD player that would glitch every 10 seconds or so. I reverted back to reading my book again.

So, a little after midnight, about 9 hours after I had arrived, a nice little Airman came over to tell us that our flight was...wait for it...CANCELLED! That's right, the rumor was that the plane we were supposed to get on was not even at Bagram. In fact, it wasn't even in Afghanistan.

Were they making arrangements for us to get on another flight? - No.

When were the next flights going out? - 0600, 0730, and 1900 show-times tomorrow.

Could we all get on those flights? - only those who were Space-Available on this flight (not me)

Could we keep our bags in customs so we didn't have to go through the process again? - No

Will our customs stickers count so we don't have to unpack our bags again? - No

Can the people who were manifested for this flight go Space-A on the next one? - Ask PERSCO.

So off I went at 1AM to ask PERSCO if I could change my status from "manifested" to "Space-A" so that I could get on the next available flight with an open seat. The nice SGT said "sure, that shouldn't be a problem. Just be there for role call at 0600". Sounds like a plan, Afghanistan.

But what do I do for the next 5 hours in the middle of the night? I have more bags than I can carry in 2 trips and everyone I know is sleeping. So I stacked up my bags in the corner of the baggage lot outside of the terminal, put my earplugs in, curled up on top of them, and covered myself completely with a blanket. Between the frequent PA announcements and the tarmac being a hundred yards away or so, I think I got about an hour or two of broken sleep. And I was surprised how cold it got.

I got up at 0530 and went to the roll call to be told that I can't Space-A and I have to wait to be manifested again. I went to the Log Plans people and they told me I was manifested for the...wait for it...1900 flight. The last one. Awesome.

So the adventure continues. Maybe I'll write a book.

What's going on??????

2010-08-24T08:37:00.000-07:00

So...Elizabeth and I are a little confused.

We have done our best to remain faithful to God's promises and grace throughout this deployment. We knew it would be a test for us...A test of patience, endurance, faith, and leaning on God's stregth. Through prayers of our own and many others, we have made it through the vast majority of this deployment relatively unscathed. I am safe, the house is on the market, the family is healthy...we have a lot to be thankful for.

BUT COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't get home. I have tried for weeks. I have worked through my commander, the personnel department, the Task Force Commander, Log Plans, PERSCO, the First Sereant...they all say there is nothing they can do for me and all I can do is wait. This is after getting news that my flight is on the 18th, then the 21st, then the 24th, and now it looks like it might be the 28th. Who knows. You probably all want me to come home so I quit complaining.

The other stressor is trying to sell the house. Things are very unpredictable in this market. The timing and the finances are both stressors. We still have a couple of months until I have to report to Scott AFB, but we would rather not cut it close; or worse, have to move without the house being sold. We are going to try to avoid that at (almost) all costs.

And now, Elizabeth's computer has crashed. It may sound trivial, but it has all the photos of the last 8 months that I have missed. We would be sick if that all vanished. Not sure if they were backed up, but that was usually my job. The computer is going in to the Apple Store today for surgery. I'm praying against digital amnesia.

So...the question Elizabeth and I keep asking ourselves when we talk is: What is God doing? Is this a "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" time? Are we building character? Faith? Are we learning to lean on Him exclusively because we have little else? Or, worst case, is He preparing us now for bigger tests in the future? Even heartache?

We are not questioning God's promise, His faithfullness, or His love. It just times like these that make us wonder what the Big Plan is. If it all "works out to the good of those who love Him", when does that start?

Thanks for listening to (or reading with) me. These days seem to be darkly overcast and cold for me and my little family. We are just looking for a little sunshine.

God is faithful.

a good laugh

2010-08-18T22:06:00.000-07:00

I decided to take the kids out to dinner tonight....well - what's new?!...we either eat on paper plates or go out somewhere to avoid messing up the kitchen.

Tonight we were sitting at Pei Wei and John was all over the place. He wanted to eat the fortune cookies before his dinner and I kept telling him to eat. He kept trying to to stab his chicken with the chopsticks and then try to feed me. I finally said "John put your food in your tummy!" Two seconds later I look over and he is putting food under his shirt "on his tummy"....

Too cute little man!

my Heavenly Father...

2010-08-18T10:35:00.000-07:00

I am not going to lie and say it has been a breeze these past few weeks. In reality they have been some of the hardest days for quite some time. I keep crying out to the Lord and asking Him to draw close to me...

My faithful mother came down last week to finalize getting the house in order. We had 6 showings of the house right away and then we haven't had a showing since last Monday night. Why the sudden cut off of showings? I am telling myself it is because everyone is getting ready for school, right?!

Between my mom and I - we painted the kitchen cabinets, painted Maddie's room a neutral color, painted the wall up the stairs, replaced 3 ceiling lights in the kitchen, switched 18 doors from brass knobs and hinges to silver, painted base boards, painted the master bathroom, painted the master bedroom, replaced 26 knobs in the kitchen to darker trendier ones ; ), replaced the kitchen faucet to one that matched the trendier knobs (don't ask ; ), and with help of some wonderful people we replaced 2 ceiling fans and the entrance hallway light that is 18 feet up so they needed to build scaffolding. We also painted 5 doors in the house that needed to be freshened up.

For any of you that have sold a house I can now feel your pain. The thing is is that I don't know when "they" will call for a showing. It can pretty much be any where from 8 in the morning until 8 at night. So the house has to remain in a condition that is perfectly clean or that can be cleaned in less than 15 minutes.

For some reason I thought the house would sell in the first week. I guess I just had a peace that the Lord would take care of me and the house and it would sell quick. Don't ask why I thought this would be the case but when we bought this house it was only on the market for less than a week. To hear comments about what people do or don't like about your house is sort of hard to hear...especially when they say "nice home but not what my clients had hoped"...ummm...what does that mean? did you expect diamond studded light switches?

So yesterday I really think I had my first melt down / panic attack. Thankfully it was while talking to my Psychiatrist husband. My entire world is out of control. I don't know exactly when Randy will be coming home, I don't know when my house will sell, I don't know when we will be moving, I don't know where in St. Louis we will be moving to. It is incredibly hard to not know what the day will be like with the showings. They can be parked right outside your door and you have to be ready to leave your house in a perfect condition.

We are selling our house for what we bought it for 5 years ago and most likely it will be less if we get an offer and after negotiation. So I cannot even look forward to "making money" after going through all of this.

For the past several nights I have woken up with a pit in my stomach and I stop and pray for Randy and pray for those who don't know my Jesus that the Lord has laid on my heart. I ask Randy every time I talk to him what he was doing that made me wake up so I had to pray for him and sure enough - every time Randy was either on a "mission" or in a building that wasn't considered safe. I always joke with him and tell him to quit waking me up in the middle of the night ; )

My counselor has told me to write in a journal the good things that are going on in my life and one thing that I can write is that my Heavenly Father has protected my husband and He is bringing him back home to me. He is faithful.

Sometimes we go through these times in our lives where we don't understand why - times I feel like I am drowning and I am begging the Lord to at least send me a life jacket. He always answers me but in ways I might not expect. But I can look back at the day and look at the people He has placed in my life to encourage me.

When we go through these times we can then relate to other people who are going through trying times.

Satan can attack me all he wants but nothing will stop me from loving my Father in Heaven. Even though I don't understand these rainy days - I do know that He is my Savior and He hears me and He loves me and when I hurt so does He.

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him."

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,

to the one who seeks him

LAMENTATIONS 3:22-25

me painting maddie's room with a plastic bag on my head to prevent paint from getting into my hair - paint makes you look like you have more gray hair - don't need that!

new light in front hallway

hopefully this kid won't break anything else before Randy gets home

new knobs and yes I installed the faucet - go me!

maddie's room now in a boring neutral color

Coming home!

2010-08-17T15:15:00.000-07:00

Randy is leaving tomorrow for his long trek home...please pray for safety and speed! Pray that each stop isn't 3-4 days but 1-2 days.

I will post later about my little world but wanted to put the prayer request "out there".

Thanks!

And then, he arrived.....

2010-08-14T11:03:00.000-07:00

My replacement arrived here today. Like I said on FB, I feel like this is my very own 4th of July - my Independence Day. I can turn things over to him and get the heck out of here.

The transition should be pretty smooth. Jeff Lammers (my replacement) was a couple of years ahead of me in the same residency and we worked together at Wilford Hall for 6 months before I deployed. It's nice to be able to turn my clinic over to someone I know and trust. I've been telling my patients for weeks that they will be in good hands.

So now begins another transition. See a few last patients. Pack up my room. Ship some stuff home. Buy a last few gifts. Make the travel plans. Piece of cake, right?

Not so fast. One thing I have learned over here from my patients is that going home is not all butterflies and moonbeams. We have to very quickly and fully adapt to the environment and tempo of being in a combat zone and then sustain that throughout our time here. Most people get pretty comfortable - if we didn't, it would be unbearable. That means going home is a change, and change is stress, and stress is tough when you're tired. Some people get really nervous, some downright irritable and angry. I've talked a lot of people through the steps of a healthy re-integration, and now it's my turn.

I do have to say, though, that I feel pretty good about going home and getting back to "normal" life (as if we have ever had that). It is going to take some work to re-insert myself into a family that has functioned nearly independently of me for 8 months. And, of course, to do that while trying to sell the house and move.

My thought is...a 6-month deployment is a 12-18 month process. By the time we add in the preparation (4 mo), training (1 mo), travel (almost 1 mo), and re-integration (2-6 mo), from spin up to spin down, that's over a year. That's a lot of tax on a family, and a lot of grace and prayers needed.

My travels are nearly over, but our journey as a family most certainly is not. I (we) would appreciate your continued prayers through the next few months as the chaos continues and we keep following God's bumpy but very scenic trail.

Thanks for all of your prayers and support. I hope to look you all in the eye in the near future.

James 1:2-4

2010-08-08T08:10:00.000-07:00

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

prayer request for the mama...

2010-08-05T14:55:00.000-07:00

I haven't written much in the last week because I wanted to avoid complaining. I feel like I complain a lot on here. But I just changed my mind because I need your prayers. I truly feel like my little world is starting to be a little more than I can handle. I know life could be worse. And in all reality my life is not bad at all. I am truly blessed with so many things. And I am praising Jesus everyday that nothing has happened to Randy.

But the little things that keep going wrong is what is driving me crazy. I keep asking God "why"? Why does life have to be this complicated...and do these things happen to everyone else on a daily basis or is it just me?

John has been a little pistol since he broke his collar bone. If he is not taking his codeine then he is screaming in pain but if I give him meds he is out-of-control cranky. He hates to be confined and he won't sit and watch TV. You would think the pain meds would make him tired but they just don't - I think they make him feel so good that he thinks nothing is wrong with his shoulder. Ugh...but then after the meds start to wear off he starts throwing tantrums.

Today I woke up with the plans to go out to lunch with my friend Jenny with all our kids. Right before I was walking out the door I got a phone call to have another showing for the house. I put the kids in the car with a movie and ran back inside to clean up the house like a mad woman. It was already clean for the most part but I had to go around and do things like check the kids bathroom to make sure they flushed....and thankfully I checked because they hadn't.

I left the dogs in the bedroom and knew that I had to come back home after lunch to get them because they couldn't be there while they came to look at the house from 2-3pm. So - I did just that - I came home after lunch and got the pups and decided to do a little shopping.

We went to Target and I opened all the windows of the car so the dogs wouldn't burn up. We were only gone for 10 minutes and I came back out to the car and our standard poodle looked like she was about to faint. I then realized that leaving them in the car wasn't gonna work. The sunroof was open and the sun was shining right on our black poodle. Eeek!

So at the next store I had this "great" idea to keep the car running with the AC and then lock the doors so at least the dogs would be okay while we "ran" inside. But the thing was the car wouldn't lock from the outside with the "clicker" since the car was turned on. While I was outside of the car I decided that I would roll down the window and then lock the car from the inside and then press the auto roll-up button for the window. Tada! I locked the car. I had the clicker and the dogs were fine in the "running" car. So we started to walk to the store when I thought to myself that I should check to see if I can open the car with the clicker "just in case". Click click click - NOTHING. The clicker wouldn't work.

It was hot - we were on hot asphalt - the kids were whining about the heat...it was miserable. I did notice that I left about 6 inches of the window down in the rear of the car. I climbed up on the bumper and tried to open the car from the back for about 10 minutes while trying to convince John to hold Lucy's hand. He kept wanting to run in the parking lot. So I had to keep climbing down and pull him back to the car.

After a failed attempt to open the car we walked inside dollar tree and the girls wanted to look at everything but I was in a fog on what to do next and told them they couldn't "look". We got some ice cream and drinks and then John proceeded to throw a fit and start hitting me. I was paying and handed over my credit card and they told me they don't take credit cards. I was holding John who was hitting me and SCREAMING. Poor kid on drugs! Everyone was looking at me and thankfully a sweet angel (woman) tried to distract John while I dug in my purse for my debit card.

I put John on the ground and he jumped and hit his head on my neck - on my adam's apple and I thought I was going to throw up in pain. Tears started coming to my eyes and I grabbed the bags and John and walked back outside to our "running" car with no way of getting into it.

A lady came by and asked if I needed help and my answer was an obvious yes. We flagged down a security car and they said they couldn't help but they had a number for a company that would help me. It was 2:45 pm and I had 2 girls that wouldn't stop whining because of the heat and asking questions like "when can we go home"...I was about to go crazy mad with frustration.

We sat in the entrance way of Homegoods for an hour and 15 minutes until the guy came to rescue us. He opened our car and I was thankful. At least we could finally drive home.

I asked the Lord to show me a sign that He was with me. I need to know He is near me. I just want one little sign.

Previously my dear friend Susan asked if she could take the girls swimming at 4pm and I said "absolutely". We were late getting home but I told the girls to run inside and get their swimsuits. We then couldn't find Lucy's swimsuit but finally found it after some intense looking. I started to tie Maddie's swimsuit and she yelled at me that it was too tight. She then threw another fit in the car and I told her she couldn't go to the pool.

I dropped Lucy off at our neighborhood pool and Maddie started to get out of the car too while throwing a fit and screaming. I told her to get back inside but she refused. Then our little dog jumped out of the car so I had to chase her down the street while Maddie was trying to get inside the pool gate. I put Bonnie back into the car and then had to pick up Maddie who was kicking and screaming and put her in the car.

Her tantrum lasted about 45 minutes and I honestly didn't have any emotion or reserve to deal with it. So I put her in her room and I went downstairs and went to my room after I put John to bed who also was throwing a fit and saying "no night night, no night night"....

She kept getting out of her room and slamming her door. Then she brought me some "art therapy" that she just did of a girl with an X in the middle of it that said "no mommy"...."Lord this isn't what I had in mind of you showing me that you are here with me"...

I told Maddie that wasn't nice and told her she needed to take a nap. She refused but right now she is on my bed asleep while I am typing.

I don't blame the kid! I want to throw a serious tantrum. To expect that the kids will keep our house absolutely clean is an unfair expectation. She is missing her dad and is so confused when we are moving. She doesn't understand why she has to start school this year at her old school but go to a new school in a couple of months. She prayed yesterday "Lord help me be a good little girl forever and ever"...Maddie is usually my carefree simple child. But lately she has completely changed and it makes my heart ache.

And to make matters worse - I don't even think our "showing" ever came to the house. All that for nothing.

I keep asking God "why are you allowing this to happen?"

I keep playing the song "Jesus Bring the Rain" over and over and over again by MercyMe.

I can count a million times

People asking me how I

Can praise You with all that I've gone through

The question just amazes me

Can circumstances possibly

Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed

Long before these rainy days

It's never really ever crossed my mind

To turn my back on you, oh Lord

My only shelter from the storm

But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of

The dark clouds that may loom above

Because You are much greater than my pain

You who made a way for me

By suffering Your destiny

So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray

Holy, holy, holy

Is the Lord God Almighty

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElISFieaukc

I might not have a sign yet nor do I understand why He is allowing everything that is going on in my life. But I do know that "He is much greater than my pain" and "When this life brings me pain - But if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus, bring the rain!"

3 milestones...

2010-08-04T07:40:00.000-07:00

I came to the blog to find a nice little surprise from my husband and from all of you! Thanks for the many comments left on FB, email and on the blog. It means so much to me that we have your support.

Well Jesus knew I was gonna need that encouragement because yesterday marked a day of 3 milestones...

ONE:

Our house is for sale. When we turned the corner yesterday (from driving home) - I could see that our realtor put our sign up in our front yard. I got teary-eyed. This is our first house. When we got here in 2005 Lucy was only 2 and Maddie was 1. And of course John was born here in 2007 (in a hospital - not the house ; ) It just makes me sad because this is our home. And I don't want someone else to "get" our home. We have so many precious memories here...

Please don't look at our scorched lawn - that is for my man to take care of when he gets home. Honey - aren't you so excited!

TWO:

Our puppy Bonnie is 1 today. Hooray!! I wanted another dog when we found out that Randy would be deploying. Randy was hesitant but he let me ; ) He picked her out and she has only been a blessing. She is so loving and so playful. And she thinks she is the boss to our standard poodle which I think is hilarious since she is only 7 pounds.

Bonnie (Bluebonnet - flower of Texas) when we first brought her home

I just took this photo this morning - Happy 1st birthday pooch!

THREE:

Our sweet little boy decided to jump off the sofa yesterday and somehow bump his head on the coffee table that somehow lead to him screaming non-stop for 2 hours. John really isn't a crier - I can tell if he just wants attention or if he is in real pain. Well after 2 hours I decided he was in "real pain" and we needed to make a late night visit to the ER. Thankfully our babysitter could come over to watch the girls and put them to bed. So I put John in the car barefoot and in his PJs.....sure enough - we have a broken collar bone diagnosis.

No swimming, no playgrounds, no jumping, no running....hmmmmm....this ought to be really interesting.

Comment Drive...

2010-08-03T09:45:00.000-07:00

This week, and this week only, I am doing a Comment Drive. (catchy, right?)

My wife has successfully put the house up on the market and the sign goes up today. With no help from her absentee husband, she has pulled off a top-to-bottom cleaning, painting, several home repairs, new rugs, a new dishwasher, a new microwave, several flats of flowers, and new carpet in several rooms. All this while taking care of three young children, starting a new business (first big job going right now), and supporting me 8000 miles away.

I am exceedingly proud of her (who can tell me who I sound like?). I truly am.

All I ask is that, if you read this, that you leave a comment for her either here or on her FB page in support of her efforts thus far and through the next couple of weeks. She is an amazing military wife and to know her is to love her.

I know you are out there - a couple of words will do.

Thanks in advance.

Randy

Almost Famous...

2010-08-01T03:06:00.000-07:00

My friend and ex-office-mate, Dr. Katie Kopp, posted an article on her FB page today. I thought I would share it here.

I was interviewed a couple of months ago by an AP reporter, Heidi Vogt, in my office. She asked me a bunch of questions about the types of cases I see, treatments I prescribe, my rotations to other FOBs, and so forth. She interviewed Katie as well.

It was the first time I had ever been interviewed by the press and it was a little nerve-racking. It was a bit of a dance - answering the questions honestly and maintaining patient confidentiality. I was also well aware that they can pull any piece or part of what I said and potentially misinterpret it or quote me out of context. I tried to be careful.

Well, here is the end result. The article is published in a lot of different places since it is AP. My only qualm is the spelling of my name. Why am I not surprised. And this is after spelling my name for her letter by letter. Oh, and my uniform has my name clearly printed on it. Oh well.

Here is the link.

I'd be interested in your thoughts - just leave a comment.

The question I asked my tech today is "does this mean I'm famous?". She said "yes". I just thought you should know.

When it rains, it pours...

2010-07-28T10:54:00.000-07:00

So there I was...a lot of good stories start like that. I got to sleep in a little today because I didn't have a patient scheduled first thing. I could hear that it was raining outside, so I just laid there and listened to the pitter-patter and dozed off again. I woke up a little bit later to what reminded me of the sound of big drops of rain hitting a pond or lake. I saw it was time to get moving so I turned on my light and saw this:

It felt humid, but come on! The entire carpet in my room was wet. Most of my stuff is hanging up or on shelves, but I have a couple of duffels of gear on the floor. I crawled down my ladder and squished onto the carpet with my bare feet. Good morning. I was curious to see where the water was coming from, so I looked out my door and saw this:

Exit signs should not reflect off cement floors. The water was rushing in under the door and I could see it making its way through the building. The guy in the room next to mine and I stuffed my door mat under the door and closed it all the way. The rug has a rubber bottom and did a pretty good job of stemming the flow. A little later, guys came around with sand bags and bordered out the doors inside and out. Evidently this was a problem in other hallways as well. I figured I better salvage my stuff, so...

Luckily, that AF duffel is water-proof so even though it was sitting directly in water, nothing on the inside was wet. Thank goodness of good issued gear. I bought a military-grade suitcase during my training and that kept everything dry inside as well. After I electrocuted myself unplugging my computer charger (no, MD doesn't stand for Master of Dumb) and picked up a few odds and ends, everything was safe. Nothing was damaged or even too soggy. We waited to see if the rain was going to slow down and it finally did. The base boards of our rooms are 2x4's, so as you can see below, the water was at least an inch deep at our doors.

I thought it would be best to pull out my carpet so my floor could dry over the course of the day. It was a 2-minute job with some minor shuffling of stuff. The floor is blue, the rest is dirt.

Between putting stuff on the few chairs and stools I have and a little more on the bed, everything was safe for the day and I headed off to work.

I put on my AF rain-coat (APECS in AF speak - All Purpose Environmental Camouflage), my dirtiest pair of boots, and headed out the door. They have been pouring side-walks for much of the last month. If they hadn't, I would have been walking through 3-4 inches of water all the way to the clinic.

Around lunch time, the LtCol stopped by to see what the damages were. We had a computer and printer that got dripped on, but everything was functional. He said that there was 3-4 FEET of water on the air-field and some tents and B-huts that people were staying in had a couple of feet of water in them so they were working on finding other places for them to live. The guy across the hall from me is moving into the girls' building for a while so they can seal up his room better. I hope they work on mine, too.

So, we complain about the heat index being over 150 degrees and then several inches of rain in one day. It kinda reminds me of camping except I don't get to sit around playing cards and eating smarties with my family. And I'm in a war zone. Other than that, it's just like camping.

I'm afraid to ask what tomorrow is going to bring. I mean besides bad food.

our visit to the adult megaplex

2010-07-24T22:04:00.000-07:00

Today was a L A Z Y day. I woke up late and even got to take a nap when the kids were resting. I couldn't believe how tired I was and couldn't shake off the tiredness so I went with what my body wanted and needed...sleep.

But after dinner the kids were restless and I knew if I didn't do something with them then they would have a hard time going to bed. So - I opted to go get ice cream and then take it to go watch airplanes at the airport. Great plan, right!?

After we got the ice cream I drove around the airport to find a "good location" for us to view the airplanes. To my great relief I drove right into the ADULT MEGAPLEX parking lot. Who cares? We were parked far away from the store plus we had a great view of the runway...perfect!

....tick tock...tick tock...o where o where are the airplanes? One little tiny - I mean TINY airplane landed and the kids were going CRAZY! This wasn't what I had in mind. THEN I noticed a woman walking over to the car and she informed me that I was parked illegally because no one under the age of 18 is allowed on the premises. O PLEASE! Like I was really planning on taking my tribe into your store!

As I was driving away I noticed that the "other" runway was where the planes were taking off and landing....NICE.

We didn't have too much time before bed so I decided that I would do a quick trip to Michaels. I wanted to get a couple of things for some projects that I am working on.

So, I pulled into Michaels and started to park our huge hunkin' car...and SMASH - Yep - I knew I did something when the other car started to rock....I was stunned but as if I didn't know something just happened each one of my kids had to tell me that I dented the car and how it looked really bad and it went on and on....

I pulled into another spot and looked at my car and then looked at the LEXUS that I just hit and then looked at my car and then looked at "the car"....yes - I was contemplating on whether or not I should drive off....can you believe me? I can! I then pulled out a paper that Maddie had drawn princesses all over and wrote all my info with a shaky hand and slipped the paper into the handle of the drivers side door. Phew...

I sat there for a while and was imagining some big man or some mean woman coming out and looking at their car and then looking at me and screaming...I seriously couldn't handle that so I drove off with a relief that I did the right thing and left all my info.

I was a little paranoid to receive the phone call from the driver. But I do have to say Mrs. Nice Lady called and thanked me for leaving my info and I apologized a million times and then she thanked me 20 more times for leaving my info and I then told her to call me if they needed any more info. And that was that.

I know my deductible is $500. What I could have done with $500 at Michaels if I only made it in the store...

Sigh...

2010-07-23T11:33:00.000-07:00

I've been extended about 10 days. Boo Hoo. No really, that's exactly what I did.

God's plan, not mine. Like a horse pill that took me all day to swallow.

I saw 12 patients today. One I had to emergently medicate and evacuate from the country when he told me he could fly and he wanted me to get the President down here so he could show him around. Then a LtCol Psychiatrist wrote an email to me and CC'd my boss and a few other big wigs at the regional hospital criticizing how I didn't fill out all of the paperwork required by the policies. It stung a little. I can't buy a dull moment.

I have a pile of about 30 patient charts on my desk that need notes or some other paperwork.

My clinic schedule is booked solid for the next 3 days.

God claims me and I have my family and friends.

I am the richest man in the world.

noteworthy

2010-07-22T22:27:00.000-07:00

I have opted to start laughing at the things that take place in the Scholma household (aka homeland of chaos)...

I heard screaming upstairs and I didn't pay much attention...well - they are always screaming these days - so what's new? ; )

LUCY: MOM - Maddie is SQUIRTING ME!!
MOM?
MOM!!!!??
MADDIE IS SQUIRTING ME!!

ME: silence

MADDIE: giggling

LUCY: Mom are you listening? MOM? MOM!!!

I should have paid attention because what in the world was she squirting?

T I L E X B L E A C H

Yes, you read correctly...BLEACH. Why would my crazy daughter think it was okay to pick up the spray bottle of bleach and squirt her sister.

Let's backtrack. Yesterday I was excited because I had gymboree bucks and it was time to redeem them...yippee! I was out with Lucy because the other two were at Kidspace and so I decided to swing by the store and get some outfits for Lucy. She is growing like a weed and every outfit I buy her seems to be passed down to Maddie after literally 1 week. Lucy is NOT into pink anymore so it was VERY important that we selected something pretty and BLUE. So, we did.

During the "squirting" epidsode Lucy was wearing her new outfit. We were at Target and I decided to let the kids get a snack at the food court...I glanced down at Lucy's skirt and wondered why her blue skirt is white and blue tie-dye? Heavens to betsy!

So we get home and I walk upstairs and find that Lucy's new decorative pillows to her bed are also bleached.

N I C E.

On another subject...

MADDIE: Mom do I have big muscles?
ME: Well let me see...
LUCY: Look at mine too!

They both are flexing their arms to show me how strong they are...only mimicking Randy on skype : )

MADDIE: Mom, I am seriously so strong
ME: Yes you are sweetie
MADDIE: Well, maybe not as strong as Uncle John

This made me laugh - not Daddy but Uncle John. Sweet Maddie has the cutest crush on her wonderful Uncle John.

painting the front door for the second time since I didn't sand before painting the first time ; )

Lucy went with me to the beauty salon and got her thick curly hair professionally cut since I seem to butcher it

Lucy with her new haircut and the bag Grandmother (my mom) gave her

Now on a serious note...you don't know how much it meant to me to find so many emails today. It really did lift my spirits. I had no idea that some of you were following me along in this crazy journey. It means a lot that you take the time to see what we have blogged about. I can't thank you enough ; )

no words...

2010-07-21T14:48:00.000-07:00

Lately I feel like I just have been rolling with the punches. Everywhere I turn there seems to be another punch...

Why would I expect anything else then to find diarrhea from our standard poodle on our brand new carpet in more than 1 spot. It was my fault because we ran out of dog food a couple of days ago and I haven't had a chance to run to the store - so I have been feeding them human food.

I don't want to put our house up on the market. It really stinks. Actually pretty impossible to keep the house clean with the kids here - We should move to a hotel for the time being.

And another thing...I have learned one thing - when you search to get approval from people you will come crashing down. The Lord continues to teach me that His approval is the only thing that matters. I wish I could expand on this but I know that wouldn't be fair to anyone.

But the real kicker is that Randy called and informed me that they now don't have a replacement psychiatrist for Randy - so there is a huge possibility that he won't be coming home on time.

I am tired. I don't have any energy left and I am not sure if I can take another punch.

What I Miss.....

2010-07-20T10:48:00.000-07:00

On an FB update a few days ago, I put a short list of some of the things I miss and at the same time things that I look forward to doing when I get home. I thought I would expand on that a little bit here. Maybe it will give you a glimpse at what people think about when they have been away from civilization for a while.

1. Taking a shower with my bare feet: for 6 months now I have been walking 100 yards over to the showers and taking a shower with my flip-flops on. It sounds remarkable and inviting to just walk into another room of the house and stepping into the warm shower with my bare feet. Even having a stable water temperature will be nice. A comfortable shower here requires a dozen or so small handle turns. Oh, and it is policy that showers last 5 minutes or less.

2. Hearing the clank of silver-wear on a plate: I have been eating off of paper or styrofoam trays with a pack of plastic utensils three times a day. Just being able to cut something without breaking my fork or cutting through my plate will be a simple pleasure. Even eating cereal out of a bowl with real milk sounds glorious. The milk here is shelf-stable for a year without refrigeration. Makes you wonder if cows were involved in any part of the process.

3. Shivering: The temperature lately bottoms out at around 85-90 degrees right before sun-up which is at 0430. It felt remarkably cool today as it was overcast and there was a nice breeze. Several people made comments about the day, even in the afternoon. I went to look at the temp gauge at 6PM and it was... 100 degrees. The average high recently is between 110 and 125 degrees...in the shade. The military calculates what is called a "wet bulb" temperature which takes into account the sun and humidity. This is what the temp feels like. A few days ago it was 150. The thought of being cold, even damp and cold, sounds awesome. My desktop background is a picture of rain.

4. Driving a car: I have not been in a car in 6 months. My only modes of transportation other than walking have been a bus, a helicopter, and a "gator" which is like a big 4-wheeler. I wonder if riding, or worse driving, a car at highway speeds will be startling at first. Maybe it hasn't been that long, but I wonder. Oh, and I miss my car. I love my car, and I miss her. There, I said it.

5. Hugging and kissing my wife my kids and my wife: I just took a minute to do a tally. As best I can remember, I have had one hug in the last 6 months when my co-worker Katie Kopp went home. I believe humans were created to touch each other as a meaningful way of expressing and communicating. It's why we hug and kiss, shake hands, pat each other on the back, or even punch each other lightly in the arm. It may not be "Army Strong" to say so, but I miss that. Often my mind will wander to holding my wife's hand while walking in the mall or during a movie. Simple but powerful.

I really could go on and on. Like the feel of grass in between my toes, being submerged in a pool, the taste of a hundred different foods, the sound of familiar laughter, the sound of my kids in the other room, NOT jumping at loud sounds, and a bunch of other stuff.

The point I'm trying to make, I guess, is actually stated nicely in the book "The Shack": God created us to live in the present - not in the past or in the future. I think we spend a lot of time in our heads remembering the past or imagining our futures. We were created to live in the moment of relationship with each other and our creator. To notice and savor the little thing, the simple and complex pleasures that life has to offer. That stuff slips past us as we wrestle with our memories or fantasize about our futures. Just today a patient said "each moment is a gift, that's why its call the present". It is hard to keep from thinking about going home at this point, but when I finally do, I will soak up each moment as it happens whether its monkey bread or monkey business. (Oh come on, that was clever). Maybe it takes a deployment for God to teach ME that; I only hope you all can reset more easily.

carpet

2010-07-20T08:19:00.000-07:00

We are in the process of getting new carpet and I cannot contain myself with excited. The upstairs and the master bedroom was always a stress factor in my life. I would lay in bed thinking of various ways to remove the stains from the carpet. I am talking about paint, permanent marker, pee, nail polish, "blush" from the kids play make-up, puffy paint, and it goes on and on. And it feels so good to have brand new carpet with no stains and it smells so new. You know the smell of a new car - same thing ; )

Too bad we will only enjoy it for another 8 weeks before we move.

So many emotions ; ) But the Lord is faithful and He continues to always remain with me.

I will post more tonight with photos but in the meantime can you please pray for Randy. Pray that the Lord will place His hand of protection over him and the other soldiers so that they can all come home to their families.

A friend of our family sent this to Randy and it made us both cry. We cannot wait to have our own "homecoming" ; )

He is fine...

2010-07-17T11:05:00.001-07:00

Randy sent me a text from Skype last yesterday when we were headed to Austin. Praise the Lord! There is no better feeling then receiving some sort of "I'm okay" from him. 3-4 more weeks and counting!!!

On another note a little dream of mine came true yesterday. Most of you will not understand this little dream but I am fine with that ; ) As some of you know Mad Lucy has taken off faster than I thought it would. I have prayed about this and I am just following His timing for this new business adventure. Well Mad Lucy just got it's first huge job...The local public school here is going to fundraise my note cards. Everything is designed and almost ready to go. I just need to finish the packaging to give to each of the students.

ANYWAYS - yes that is a little dream of mine but this is what I am talking about....I bought a paper cutter....Yes - an ELECTRIC paper cutter. You know the kind at kinkos were you just push a button and it cuts 250 sheets of cardstock at once?...that kind.... ; ) I am giddy with excitement! No more hand cutting each piece of card stock at a time!

I found one online from a printer and went to Austin to pick it up....the only problem is that I can't get it out of my car. Any suggestions? ; )

please pray...

2010-07-16T09:52:00.000-07:00

I was talking to Randy on Skype with the kiddos. Again "Gottagoloveyoubye"...

Why does my heart always sink when this happens?! I know why but it really does but I feel like half of my heart stops...

Dear Jesus, please be with my husband right now. Please hold him in the palm of your hands. I also pray that you be with the other soldiers who are in the same situation. I pray that you calm their hearts and their minds. I pray that you protect them from the enemies right now. We love you. In your Holy Name, Amen.

sweet little girl

2010-07-13T21:28:00.000-07:00

I put the kids to bed early tonight because I knew they were extremely tired. I tried reading all 3 of them a book at one time. The book was a large book with about 15 different stories to choose from. This is how it went down:

Lucy: I want you to read "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"

Me: I turned to the story and started to read....

John: sheep, sheep, sheep, look sheep (pointing at the pages)

Lucy: John, stop talking

John: Mommy, sheep

Me: John, mommy has to turn the page, John, mommy has to turn the page...

Maddie: I didn't want this story

Lucy: Be quiet JOHN

John: No Wucy, No Wucy (Lucy)

Maddie: Can we read The Velveteen Rabbit?

Me: still reading with all of this going on...

Maddie: Why is the wolf taking away the sheep?

John: Sheep, look at sheep

Lucy: Mom, I thought you were gonna let me read after you finished the first page

Me: Okay - start reading here...

John: NOOOOOO WUCY - MOMMY READ

Lucy: JOHN LISTEN

Maddie: Lucy I can't see the pages

John: NOOOOOOOOOO

Lucy: John STOP IT

And then chaos broke out. I put the book down and brought the littlest bambino up to bed. And then he proceeded to tell me that he wanted a bottle? A BOTTLE? Hasn't it been 6 months since you have had one? And then he cried and cried and cried and cried....

Then Maddie asked if she could have dessert and I said "no" and she broke down into a rage of a tantrum. And I do have to say this is pretty rare for her. I put her to bed and shut her door and stood there in the hallway listening to all 3 kids wailing. I settled Lucy down who was distraught over me ending the book early. After I explained the situation to her she started to relax and then she settled into her bed with a pile of chapter books.

I then went back to Maddie's room who was still wailing. I knew the book wasn't the issue but asked her what was wrong and she said "I miss Daddy so much and I just cannot wait any longer for him to come home". I told her that I understood and that I missed daddy a ton too and then I picked up my 6 year old and rocked her like I did when she was a baby. After a couple of minutes I let her know that we only had about 30 days left and she said "so that means just 1 day, 2 days, 3 days, 4 days, 5 days, 6 days....28 days, 29 days, 30 days?...that's not that long!"

Me being the artist that I am I told her that she could color for a little while and that she could make a picture for daddy. Nothing like some good old art therapy. This made her happy.

Later tonight I went back up to their rooms to make sure their lights were off and that the covers were pulled up and I found this sweet picture that she drew. It says "I love you to day"...but I know she meant "I love you today"....

I love the necklace that she put on "daddy", I love the bows on his shoes and I love the puffy orange sleeves. This is precious to me.

Daddy - we cannot wait for you to be home. We love you and are extremely proud of you! It is official that we can finally start counting down the days....Praise the Lord!

wondering?

2010-07-12T06:13:00.000-07:00

I bet you all have been sitting on the edge of your seats just dying to know how our trip finished. Well here it goes:

Dear VIP of Delta,

I was searching for prices online and was very excited to see that a trip to SAT to DTW was about half the price of other airlines out there. Now I am a ~~not so loyal platinum~~ flyer of American but once I saw your prices I decided to give you a try.

On June 23, 2010 I boarded one of your planes with my 3 children (under 7) and our 11 month old puppy. We were all happy because we were visiting my in-laws for 2 weeks and were so excited to see everyone. My husband was not traveling with us that day because he has been deployed to Afghanistan since January. But I always hold my head up high when you all say only "active members of the US military" don't have to pay for their bags. I completely do not understand this concept because I am pretty sure I have been EXTREMELY active for the last 7 months.

Anyways, back to the boarding. We boarded and why O why do some stewardesses not embrace helping mothers with their small children? They don't have to "help" me but please do not roll your eyes at me and yell at me while I am holding a pooch in the carryon on my lap while people are still boarding because you insist the pooch has to be under the seat? Ms Stewardess do you realize I was only trying to help you? If I put the pooch under the seat while everyone was boarding she would have only barked and whined and everyone would be looking at me for that. I was only waiting for her doggy benadryl to kick in.

Besides that little blip of having the Stewardess on the flight from SAT to DTW yell at me - I would have given your airlines a B+. Would I have flown with you again? Sure!

Now, Mr/Ms VIP of Delta, please give me ONE good reason to fly with your airline after you read the following:

July 7, 2010 - direct flight from DTW to SAT. After MUCH chaos of being tossed from one ticketing counter to the next we finally board our plane to San Antonio. About 1 hour into the flight I thought I was golden because my oldest daughter was asleep and my 2-year-old was in the process of falling asleep on my lap. My middle daughter was quietly coloring. AHHH silence UNTIL I noticed that the plane started to take a nose dive down. I often wonder what the pilots are doing up there in the cockpit - are they occasionally getting a little shuteye? Sometimes the plane just dives down and then comes right back up but Mr. Pilot what are you doing? This is when EVERYONE starts noticing and looking out the window. Your pilot was so kind to inform us about what was going on: "This is your pilot speaking, we have a problem with this aircraft, we are smoking from the rear of the plane and we are going to make an emergency landing into St. Louis"...I think next time I don't think I would have liked to have known that the plane was on fire. Everything from wondering if I should wake my kids up to say goodbye to not being able to kiss my husband goodbye went through my mush of a brain while descending into St. Louis. But sure enough a billion fire trucks, ambulances, police cars greeted us on the runway in good ol' STL. The decent happened in 5 minutes or less - I am sure several people aboard this flight had to use the little white bags that my kids usually use to draw on or wear as hats when they are bored.

My first reaction is get us off this smoking plane. But no, Delta, thanks to you we got to stay on it for a very long time. You didn't want to taxi us to a gate in fear that we might inconvenience the airport by setting it on fire. No worries about everyone else on board.

Mr. Firefighter on our "smoking" flight

On another note - In Stewardess school please train your ladies/men to not show a huge amount of emotion in the event of an emergency because I guarantee that if they do - the entire plane will freak out. And in our case - they did!

After MUCH chaos - we were allowed to deplane to a very empty and closed airport. With 3 kids and 1 pooch strung out on benadryl this was not gonna fly with me. No pun intended! After 30 minutes I asked one of your nice ladies at the counter if I could get a flight out the next day so I could visit with my parents and sister. I was told that I could but I couldn't get my baggage from the plane and I agreed. They even agreed to let me stay an additional day so that made me semi-happy. But what I didn't know was that they booked me on a flight from STL to Atlanta? to SAT? seriously? Thank you Delta for making this decision for me!

Fast forward to Friday, July 9th, 2010. The kids, the pooch and I arrive at the airport at 1:45 pm for a 3:10 flight. Doing pretty well I must say. I go to stand in line and notice there are only 2 of your agents working. 30 minutes (yes I said 30 minutes) later I arrive to the counter and they look at the paper tickets that your agents printed for me from the burning flight and they told me that I had to go to another line. That line was clearly not moving. I explained to them about the burning flight, and that my flight was going to take off soon to NO help whatsoever. So I go stand in the "other" line. At 2:35 I start to panic because we still have to make it through security. I leave the line and go up to the counter and this is how it went down:

ME: My flight takes off in a half an hour and I really need someone to help me

AGENT: How long have you been here?

ME: Since 1:45 pm
AGENT: Well you really need to go back and stand in line
ME: But I am running out of time and if I do I will miss my flight
AGENT: Well when you get to the front of the line have the other agent book another flight for you since you missed this one

I couldn't even look at her and the angry tears that I couldn't hold back started to flow.

At 2:55 pm an angel agent approaches me and asks me what is the matter and I explained and then she brought me and the very-noisy-lady-behind-me with-the-same-flight up to the counter. And then I started prepping my kids for the amazing race that was about to happen to get downstairs through security and then to terminal A with no stroller, 1 computer bag, 1 large purse, 1 pooch in a purse, and 1 very tired 2 year old. But thanks to our amazing running skills that I have given my children - we made it! Praise the Lord!!

We walk to the VERY back of the plane (this is very common when you have kids - just put 'em in the back and no one will hear them). But that was fine with me because the bathroom is right there and the engines are SO loud that it doesn't matter if my kids started to cry or if I was crying - nobody would know!

Pretty uneventful flight from SAT to the land of the peaches (aka Atlanta). Got off the plane at gate A something - was told to go to B28. Took 25 minutes to walk with everyone, stop for a potty break and to get some food. When we sat down at B28 everyone started to leave and then some nice lady informed me what was going on - Gate change to B6. This might not seem like a huge deal but it was because in this particular terminal there were no moving walkways or trams. We had to walk and run like we had never before. After this adventure my kids are officially trained for a marathon - thanks to you Delta!

Got to B6. Loaded the flight and again we were delighted to find out that we were at the very back of the plane. You are just so good to us!

Mr. Pilot then informs us that there is a delay because he cannot get the stairs? to pull up. 1 hour later we taxi out ONLY to sit on the runway for 2 hours - yes I said 2 hours due to a sprinkling of what I would call mist/rain.

We were supposed to arrive at 8pm central standard time but thanks to you Delta we arrived at midnight.

And at this point started another adventure to find the stroller and bags that arrived 2 days earlier.

I just wish you could have seen me with 3 LARGE luggage bags, 1 2-year-old that refused to walk, 1 stroller, 1 computer bag, 1 large purse, 1 pooch in a purse and 2 very tired girls who didn't want to drag suitcases to long term parking.

It was so kind of your Delta Agents at baggage claim to chuckle ~~to themselves~~ outloud and say "wonder how she is going to do this and wait she even has a dog! hahahaha".

Please tell me why I should fly Delta - I am even willing to listen?

Warm Regards,

Elizabeth Scholma

San Antonio, Texas

Aunt Caroline and Johnny

Aunt Caroline, ME, Maddie and Lucy at my parent's house

Restless in Afghanistan...

2010-07-11T08:15:00.000-07:00

So one expression that people often use when they are nearing the end of some task is "things are winding down". That expression certainly does not fit into this situation. Although I am nearing the end of the deployment (3-4 weeks until I start making my way home), there is no "winding down" in sight. To the contrary, I am busier now than I have been in months.

There are a few reasons for this. First, the new Brigade has been here for about 2 months now. This means that people are settled in and the newness of deployment is starting the fade. As people start to get on each others' nerves and things start happening back home, people come to see me.

Second, the new Brigade has less of an idea about what we do. The old Brigade was here for 8 months when I got here, so they pretty much left us to do our work. I find that I am spending much more time reporting numbers, being called in to talk to this or that Colonel, and acting as liaison between the Army command and my Air Force command. Didn't I just graduate from residency? Since the other provider is brand-new and also a Captain, I find that I am the Officer-In-Charge of the busiest Combat Stress Clinic in eastern Afghanistan. My boss is supportive, but he is also 100 miles away.

Finally, the fighting has really picked up several fold over the past month or so. And with combat, as I'm sure you can imagine, comes an increase in combat stress. We've seen almost 60 people in just the last 3 days!! That's more than some other clinics see in an entire month. Everything from anger and insomnia to Joes having their friends get killed and Traumatic Brain Injury. We are getting people in from FOBs all over this part of Afghanistan. I don't even know how many patient notes I have to write yet - no more today, though.

So I have to admit that I am getting more restless as time goes on. A big chunk of it is that the relentless work-load is wearing me down and I just need a break. Also, I want desperately to make it home safe and intact to my wife and kids. It is becoming increasingly unsafe to fly around the country-side and even to walk around the FOB (nobody has been seriously injured on this FOB in a long while, thank God). Sometimes, the mission just has to get done so you suck up the risk and go. The new Social Worker got here a couple of weeks ago and my replacement should be coming in a few weeks, so I am getting ready to turn things over to the new team.

And then there is the part of my heart that aches for my wife, kids, and family that worry about me being out here. With the crazy path that God has led me on over this past decade or so, I never intended to cause them any heart-burn and certainly not any tears. I don't like the fact that I am the source of stress or worry. I pray often that God will place his peace in your hearts and minds as He does mine.

For though I have to admit that I am nervous and restless, deep inside I KNOW that God has a plan and that it is inherently good. Whatever happens, whatever we (I) fear or imagine, God's plan will lead to good. As long as we envelope ourselves in relationship with him and trust that He has our best interests at heart, we can BOLDLY go forward on the path laid out before us. If this experience has taught me anything, it is that I ALONE am vulnerable and useless, but with Christ in my core, God as my King, and the Spirit guiding my steps, WE can be strong and successful. Pray that we may continually learn what it means to walk in relationship with the Trinity that we may endure life's hardships with peace and celebrate life's successes with unabashed joy.

May this be my prayer and walk for the next 30+ days and the next 30+ years.

fire on the plane?!

2010-07-07T21:24:00.000-07:00

Um, do you know how our blog is title "Homeland of Chaos"? Well - it never fails!! About an hour into the flight I was rocking John and he was almost asleep when the plane started descending down at a very rapid pace. Now I have flown quite a few times and I KNEW this was not so normal. AND THEN everyone became frantic! The pilot came on and said "there is smoke in the back of the plane and we have to make an emergency landing into St. Louis"...in record time we were landed with fire engines and ambulances and police cars all over the runway.

You would think they would let us off the plane but NO. We had to sit on the runway and have the crew check over the plane - that to me doesn't make a whole lot of sense! Then we taxied to a gate and they told us that the firemen were going to come onto the plane and just to relax and sit tight. Relax? Sit tight? Hardly! Maddie and Lucy caught on to what was going on and they wouldn't stop asking questions...

As soon as the firemen came aboard the plane and checked some things out the not so friendly stewardess told us to grab what was important to us and get off the plane. So, I grabbed the dog, the kids and the purse.

So what do you do in the St. Louis airport with 3 very tired kids, 1 very whiney poodle and no food (every store was closed)? You call your parents and have them pick you up! ; ) Yep - they kindly switched our flight until Friday! Otherwise we would have had to wait at the gate for at least 3 hours and put us on the plane that was on fire. NO thanks!

God has such a crazy sense of humor! I know in my heart He protected our plane. Things could have gotten a lot worse. And out of all the airports He landed us in St. Louis. What a crazy fun surprise ; ) My heavenly Father ALWAYS keeps me guessing ; )

headed home

2010-07-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

We are going to drive to Detroit because we are flying out of there today. We are headed home to good ole Texas.

We had so much fun and we relaxed quite a bit. I am sad because I absolutely adore Randy's parents and family. Until Randy gets home the house is pretty quiet at night.

BUT we only have ONE MONTH until Randy comes home! HOORAY!!!!

Here are some photos from our trip:

Uncle Ross and Evan

eating pizza at the beach

at the beach with the entire family

Lucy and Maddie

Maddie sitting outside in the backyard enjoying s'mores

Papa made s'mores for the kiddos in the fire pit

Lucy picking flowers out of Grandma's garden

more fighting

2010-07-02T14:07:00.001-07:00

I spoke with Randal this morning and there continues to be fighting around his base. He says he walks around pretty nervous the majority of the time.

I know the Lord is in control but all I want for Christmas (in July) is my husband back home where he is safe.

I appreciate all your prayers and encouragement.

prayer

2010-07-01T13:10:00.001-07:00

I was skyping with Randy yesterday when all of a sudden I heard a huge bang followed by an alarm and then Randy said "gottagoloveyoubye" in less than a second and then he was gone. Um? Randy? I knew he was okay because he said "bye" but that had never happened before.

It actually brought me to tears because it was so sudden. To be honest I haven't been too emotional lately and I have just gotten too comfortable with thinking he is safe. But he is in a war zone and the fighting has been picking up tremendously. So, I am asking for your prayers not just for Randy but for all the soldiers and their families.

2 hours later I got a text that read "I'm fine. I will email you in my room. Luff."

This was what was in the paper this morning:

U.S., Afghans repel attack against major base

KABUL, Afghanistan (AP) — U.S. and Afghan troops repelled an attack Wednesday on one of the biggest NATO bases in eastern Afghanistan by militants who used a suicide car bomb, rocket-propelled grenades and automatic weapons in a failed attempt to breach the defenses.

It was the third ground assault against a major coalition base in Afghanistan in the past five weeks — a sign that the insurgents have not been cowed by U.S. efforts to ramp up the war.

Eight militants were killed in the attack, which occurred at the airport base on the outskirts of Jalalabad about 75 miles (120 kilometers) east of Kabul on the main road between the Afghan capital and the Pakistan border.

The attack began with a suicide car bomber detonating his explosives near the gate to the base, followed by a half-hour gunbattle, Afghan officials said. An Afghan soldier and one international service member were wounded, NATO said.

My soul finds rest in God alone;

my salvation comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation;

He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Psalm 62:1-2

photos

2010-06-28T16:19:00.000-07:00

Everything up here in Michigan is slower - the phone isn't ringing off the hook - I don't have to worry about the house being clean - I don't have to worry about cooking - I get to sleep in ; ) - the temperature today is in the 70's and breezy...the Lord has blessed me with this time off. I can actually move at a slower pace and my kids notice it. I even have been busy picking peas from Grandpa and Grandma's garden - the other night we had fresh peas, potatoes, cabbage (cole slaw) and beets! It was a slice of heaven.

The Lord has been putting a lot on my mind lately. I haven't been able to pin point exactly what I need/want to say but it is slowly coming ; )

Here are some photos from Maddie Moo's birthday:

so precious! this was Lucy's gift to Maddie...

roses are red, violets are blue - sugar is sweet and so are you! happy birthday maddie!

opening presents in front of daddy on skype

sitting on the deck blowing bubbles

jordan and maddie - birthday buddies

grandpa and john discussing trains

uncle john and johnny playing trains

our little fish

cute little toddler buns

aunt joleen and jordan

John and Alyssa - John didn't like the "cold" water

ladies - he is taken...

2010-06-27T13:00:00.000-07:00

I'm just sayin' ; )

Happy Birthday sweet Maddie Moo!

2010-06-25T12:31:00.000-07:00

6 years ago Madeline Marie decided to come 4 weeks early (at 36 weeks). I had preterm labor starting at 19 weeks but the day after I went off my medicine from keeping me from going into labor - Maddie decided to enter the world. I even got into a car accident that day while trying to drive with contractions - I wouldn't recommend this! I drove the rest of the way home and met Randy who had the bags all ready.

We got to the hospital and the nurse patted me on the leg and said "sweetie don't get your hopes up because this probably isn't the "real" thing" - I laughed to myself because as a woman you just KNOW when your body is trying so hard to get rid of this human inside of you...the doctor came in and checked me and I was almost fully dilated so they rushed me to the ER for an emergency C-Section...

Madeline had a little trouble breathing so she had to spend 1 night in the NICU and then we learned she had hearing loss. But none of that mattered because I had my sweet baby girl in my hands and she was healthy and beautiful.

So today to celebrate we are going over to Aunt Julie's (Randy's sister) house tonight for a pool party. Cousin Jordan's birthday is also today - he is turning 1. Jordan is Ross and Joleen's 3rd son. Ross is Randy's brother. Confusing? Not really. ; ) It goes Julie, Ross then Randy.

We have been in Michigan since Wednesday. The flight went really well. 3 kids and 1 poodle puppy in tow. Yes, I was very brave ; )

I will post photos from the party later.

Father's Day

2010-06-20T05:15:00.001-07:00

Well, its not my birthday, Thanksgiving, or Christmas, but don't I get to complain just a little? Probably not. There are thousands of others deployed and away from their families at the same time that I am. Even more, over the years there have likely been hundreds of thousands of missed Father's Days. I'm sure we all share the same longing to spend a quiet day with the family getting just a little extra attention. Who doesn't like that?

Although Father's Day was not made official until 1972 by Richard Nixon, it is believed that the first Father's Day celebration was held in Spokane, WA in 1910. That makes this year the 100th Anniversary of Father's Day! I'm not exactly sure what significance that has, but I thought it was cool little tidbit.

Days like this remind me again of how important family is. I have now missed several important days and will miss a couple more before I get home. Lucy's B-day, Mother's Day, Maddie's B-Day, and the 4th of July are the biggest ones. Each of these days are chances to celebrate, to remind someone that they are special, to get family and friends together. For a while at least, I will consider these events a little differently. I have taken these things for granted for a long time. The ability to go, have fun, tell someone face-to-face what they mean to me, go back home and start planning for the next one. I can't say that I won't get complacent again - we tend to adapt to whatever environment we are in for a while. But I think events like these will have a hint more gravity for a long time.

So on this day, if you have a father within reach - be it arms reach, a drive, or a phone call - take 10 seconds to look him in the eye and tell him what he means to you as a father. We probably don't do that enough to anyone in our lives and holidays like this give us easy opportunities to make it happen. I got tender emails from both Lucy and Maddie today (John has a pass for another year or two) and I can tell you that it means more than a new tie or not having to do the dishes.

odds and ends

2010-06-18T08:55:00.001-07:00

The kids are finally done with school - no more driving 30-45 min each way to school!

It has been pure craziness around here. Here are some of the things that have been going on here in Scholma Nation:

John eating ice cream at the neighborhood social

Lucy reading a story at awards night

John learning his numbers from Randy over skype

I took the girls out for sushi - yes they love it!

Maddie's favorite was the caviar sushi ; )

Maddie graduating from kindergarten

sweet Maddie Moo

I luff her so much ; )

My aunt came to visit and also my cousins who are around our kids age - they had so much fun together! There is this new restaurant by our house - so we walked there - so fun!!

This boy has decided it is time to be potty trained? Oh John can you please wait until Daddy gets home?

How can I possibly teach you to pee like a man?

6-String Theory and Teleportation...

2010-06-13T05:08:00.000-07:00

As this whole deployment thing starts to wind down (even though I have about 50 days to go), I thought I would put in a few words about what this experience has taught me. Even though there has been things that I have learned, I'm sure I will be garnering more from it for years to come.

As some of you know, I have been leading the worship for the morning Christian chapel service since early in the deployment. We pick out songs and practice on Friday nights and then rock it out on Sundays. The brave souls who come to the service have to endure my guitar and screeching vocals; I've had a few compliments and most importantly it seems as though the Lord is being praised when I look out to the crowd. I bought a guitar on a whim in college and with the help of a few friends, Blues Traveler, and Dave Matthews (OK, at least their albums), I learned to be a phenomenally average player. Little did I know that God was investing in a talent that more than a decade later would be used to help people lift up his name in the hills of Afghanistan. At least that what I hope is happening. God's plan is tidy, intricate, complex, and ambitious. All we have to do is sign up and hold on.

Another thing that often strikes me is how well this deployment really is going. This does not mean that it has been easy. However, even difficult things can go well, just as easy things can go very badly. Being a mental health provider in a war zone gives me unfiltered access to pretty much all of the horrible things that can happen during a deployment. Besides the worst case scenario of fallen heroes, I hear of financial problems, people getting sick or injured back home, people cheating on each other, and marriages falling apart. One of the most consistent reports of anguish in these situations is that the person here feels helpless to influence the situation in any meaningful way. We often spend time brainstorming about what they may be able to practically do from here to offer help or help repair relationships. Sometimes, the best I can do is to give them an empathetic ear while they vent their frustrations.

The ones who have something significant going on but don't feel helpless all seem to have one thing in common - they pray. Until we can teleport to where we are needed, those who believe know that praying offers the next best thing. Actually, praying may be a superior method as I, for one, would rather have big, mighty God working his magic in a situation than my own feeble, 1st-grade attempt at making things better.

From 8000 miles away, I often feel a bit limited in my ability to help and support my family as they struggle through this deployment. Whether its homework, discipline, house work, my wife's business, the kids getting sick, laundry...the list goes on and on. Other than writing e-mails and calling my wife every night, there is little direct impact I can have on their day-to-day life and state of mind. And it began even before I left as I felt clueless as to how to prepare my family for such a long time away and then a pending move upon returning home. The single most significant thing I could do, and continue to do, during this time is to pray. I would never say that I am as consistent as I need to be or that I know exactly what I am praying for. The second most significant thing was to enlist others to pray for us. And it has been remarkably obvious that we have been protected, supported, and blessed through the power of prayer. I have remained safe during my time here, the kids have remained healthy and invested in school, and Elizabeth's and my relationship has grown so much stronger. I would have been happy with my life just not getting worse in this past year, but with God's attentive ear and hand in my life, I am confident that we will look back at this time as a remarkable time of growth and blessing.

As long as we speak our hearts to our Savior, he promises to continue to listen.

The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ear are attentive to their cry;

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34: 15, 17

MIA again!

2010-06-12T12:30:00.000-07:00

No I am not referring to Randy ; )

This week has been a blur. Not that you really care but I just want to list everything that I have accomplished this week:

- drove back from Austin last Sunday with tired kiddos from being in the weddding

- bought a new rug for the living room - moved all the furniture - pulled the old one out - I think I have bigger muscles now than Randy ; ) I do have to say that rug was disgusting! so glad to have a new patterned carpet that doesn't show dirt!

- went to Home Depot and bought a tree trimmer and proceeded to trim all the bushes in the backyard and all the low tree branches

- I bagged up all the trimmings and put them into giant black garbage bags

- I then trimmed all the bushes in the front and again bagged those

- went grocery shopping with the girls (you know the big grocery shopping kind...grrrr)

- scrubbed the front porch to get the hard water stains off the bricks

- went to Home Depot to get more flowers to make the yard look pretty and also purchased 2 back flow preventer faucet thingamajigs for the outside faucets - that was an experience finding those in the store - somehow I have "I don't have a clue what I am doing" written all over my forehead - but at least I stand out and get help right away ; )

- went to the awards ceremony at the kiddos school

- went to dinner with some good friends

- had parent teacher conferences

- of course I am still designing - working on several jobs and this isn't work to me - as a matter of fact it is my therapy ; )

- went to Home Depot for the 3rd time to purchase a new chandelier for the entrance hallway (we shall see how I proceed to hang this thing 20 feet up ; ) and also paint for the front door, for the back door, for the trim and for the walls = awholelottapaint

- I painted half of the downstairs trim work and the majority of the walls with the same color - kind of sad to paint over tiny hand prints

- swept the bag deck

- vacuumed

- 10 loads of laundry - not kidding

- mopped the hardwood floors (I loathe this job bc 2 seconds later it has tiny footprints and it looks like I didn't even clean the dang floors)

- kids are still in school so I continue to drive them back and forth - fun stuff!

- we went to a neighborhood ice cream social at the neighbors house who happens to be our pastor ; )

- I taped the rest of the house that needs painting

- helped kids with homework

- went to meet my sister halfway between San Antonio and Austin to pick up her dog because they left for Cancun and somehow they forgot to bring me along....

- tried to organize and clean out the garage - Randy, what can I throw away and what do we keep? seriously! all your beer making materials are scattered throughout the garage! I bet you would like one right now ; ) haha!

- decluttered by packing more boxes

- ate out a lot this week - too tired to cook!

- found out that the kids will be going to Central Pres. School next year! Praise the Lord!

- bought new towels so they will look nice and fresh in the bathrooms and told the kids not to use them because they are only to make the house look pretty - 2 seconds later Maddie is using one to wipe up spilled water...

busy? sort of ; )

wedding day

2010-06-05T20:39:00.000-07:00

The kiddos were flower girls in our neighbor's wedding. I am so exhausted but will be sure to post more details tomorrow ; )

America's Influence on the Afghans

2010-06-03T11:42:00.000-07:00

Hello again, everyone. It has been a while since I posted again, so my wife tells me. I thought I would share some thoughts about my recent experiences.

We just went through what is called a RIP/TOA here at FOB Fenty which basically means that the entire Brigade was replaced since they had all been here a year. I believe in stands for Relief In Place/Transfer Of Authority. So over the past month several thousand soldiers passed through this FOB and about 3/4 of this FOBs personnel were replaced. The new Brigade Commander officially took over on Monday with an impressive ceremony. (I didn't take any pics, but I will steal some). Suddenly there were lines for chow, lines to drop off laundry, crowded and often broken bathrooms, long waits for Skype, etc. It was all a big inconvenience for me and I say "how dare the Army". Kidding.

The new command doesn't change anything substantial for me since I don't belong to the Army. There was a nice lull in patient care for about 10 days as the big swap occurred which was a nice change of pace. At one point I was doing crossword puzzles in my office - unheard of! Not anymore, though. Business has picked right back up as some of the remaining people continue to visit and some fresh soldiers start coming in.

The biggest change for me is that I lost my office-mate. Dr. Katie Kopp has been my partner in crime for the last 4 months was an enormous help and good friend. We were able to manage our chunk of the country without much difficulty and with a lot of laughs and intense ping-pong games. The office is a little quieter without her. I do have a new co-worker, an Air Force Major. We are hitting it off well and it should be a good month. The permanent replacement comes in July and about the time I get her all spun up, it will be time for me to go home. It can't come fast enough. I can say that again. It can't come fast enough.

So today's pics are all about the signs. You may have to click on the pics to be able to read them better. The locals run these shops. They are screened vigorously from what I am told. Most of the stuff they sell is cheap asian knock-off stuff but it works for out here. At least I can have some tunes in my office. All the prices are negotiable, so I'm practicing my haggling skills. Dad, you would be proud. Good stuff.

K-Mart, Target, Guchi. What more could
you want? Correct spelling optional, I guess.

Smallest Walmart on the planet. I believe the
motto is "low prices, sometimes". Any idea what
"sell short" means?

And yes, that is Leonardo DiCaprio. No,
over there on the sign. It's OK.

Nicely Said....

2010-05-30T13:07:00.000-07:00

I couldn't have said it better myself - so I won't try. Here is a link to my office partner's blog. I am proud to have served with her. Here you go...

Gianna Jessen - abortion survivor

2010-05-27T11:21:00.000-07:00

part 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPF1FhCMPuQ

part 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8B1nKGIAeg&feature=related

Wow we need more people like her out there - her faith really excites me ; )

my love of hip-hop and old school rap

2010-05-26T17:42:00.000-07:00

Up until this point in my life I could get away with listening to whatever I wanted to on the radio. When the kiddos were babies they couldn't argue with what I was playing. I did however play all the Psalty (you know the blue singing song book?!) albums and my kids know them by heart just like I do from growing up on them. But after 1000 times hearing them it almost makes you crabby.

The other day Maddie asked me to play her favorite song. This is how it went...

MADDIE - mom can you play that one song that I like

ME - what song?

MADDIE - you know that one that says "meet me halfway"...(and then she started humming)

ME - (thinking to myself) O' great

She was referring to the song Meet Me Halfway by the Black Eyed Peas. Just what you want your kids to be humming to at church...right?!

Fortunately this particular song doesn't have any profanity or any topic that "I would have to explain"....They think the song is about missing daddy since the words say:

I can't go any further then this

I want you so badly, it's my biggest wish

I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you

Every single day yes, i'm really missin' missin' you

I just have to say that I love the base/beat in these songs so every morning it is a struggle not to turn on Tupac or Biggie. Sooner than later they would be asking what a "Crome 44" was or who the "po po" were....I mean seriously...

Christian music?...ugh...Well - that's what I thought until I really started searching for new music. I don't want any "Jesus is my BFF" music - I mean seriously. I want music with meat and meaning.

I have to say this change of music in our car over the past year has been HUGE. I have played everything from old hymns to more modern day music. But the sweetest thing is seeing my kiddos (even John) raising their hands in the air just because they are worshipping Jesus in their own way. And I even found some christian rap that I like - thanks to the Gospel Gangstas ; )

I used to get agitated when people cranked up their "Jesus music"...I always thought it was for show or because they thought it was the "right" thing to do...but I have learned...it is not like that at all....It prepares my heart for the day...

Draw me close to You

Never let me go

I lay it all down again

To hear You say that I'm Your friend

You are my desire

No one else will do

'Cause nothing else could take Your place

To feel the warmth of Your embrace

Help me find the way

Bring me back to You

You're all I want

You're all I've ever needed

You're all I want

Help me know You are near

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mbW5649wDY

I found this old song yesterday and it was so appropriate to this stage in my life. My prayer to the Lord has been to not let go of me and to draw me close to Him.

I know when we have a deep relationship with Christ...satan targets us and he can be relentless in doing so...this is especially true when we are telling others who don't believe in Him...

When I am telling others the simple simple truth of the gospel - I can feel the thickness of the spiritual battle going on around me...So if you want to be "safe" - never tell anyone about how Jesus died on the cross for their sins and that it is a gift given to them - and they can have eternal life if they believe and have faith in Him....because satan won't worry about you - you are not a threat to him but I promise you will feel it so intensely if you do and this is one of the very reasons why I have to prepare my heart in the morning and pray against satan's lies...

Today I went to Target with all 3 kids after school. HUGE mistake! I should have known better. Since John is a "runner" - I decided I would also bring in the stroller and one of the girls would push him while I pushed the cart. Well he just screamed the entire time and tried to get out. I let him out at the checkout and Maddie decided to sit in the stroller and then John pulled the stroller down and Maddie hit her head. She started crying and then John fell and hit his head and then he started crying. And of course he decided to poop in his pants at that very moment...Everyone was looking at me and then I felt a warm hug from behind with someone saying "okay girl - what do you need me to do?"...it was a dear friend from church and tears welled up in my eyes because I knew my Heavenly Father sent her to me at the very moment when I needed some helping hands...

I can honestly say I am surprised everyday at His unending love for me. He never never never lets me down and my prayer for you is that you will also experience this incredible relationship that I have with my Maker.

a little bit of this and that...

2010-05-25T17:33:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday I decided that Lucy needed some much needed alone time with her mama. So I got a babysitter for Maddie and John and then Lucy and I headed to PF Changs. Since we both have Celiac Disease we were really excited to order off their gluten free menu! So yummy! Then we headed to TJ Max, Ross, and then to the Dollar Tree so Lucy could buy something.

Her little personality really comes out when she isn't competing with her brother sister for my attention. We had such a good time. The best part is that she still holds my hand wherever we go. I know that won't last too much longer.

This Saturday I will take Maddie out for a night on the town while Lucy stays with John and our darling sitter.

Then today we went to the pool for the first time this year. It has been open for 2 months but I haven't had the energy to get all the gear ready, put sunscreen on the kiddos and then walk to the pool...but I am learning fast that if you take them to the pool they will go to bed so much earlier because it literally wears them out. And having my alone time at night is crucial for me - otherwise I would go crazy. I mean really really crazy.

little creatures

2010-05-19T20:38:00.000-07:00

I was getting ready this afternoon and I told John that we needed to get ready to pick up the girls. When I walked into the family room I found these little creatures climbing out of my purse...

Sweet boy - you made my day ; )

how much longer?

2010-05-18T19:51:00.000-07:00

Man this week I am exhausted. I mean EXHAUSTED! I am not exactly sure why - and I know I am not pregnant - haha!

The kids have been in rare form this week and last week. They are misbehaving like crazy and when I am not disciplining them they are all being EXTREMELY needy. Maddie and Lucy want to be held all the time and John - well he is another story...

It is so hard trying to get everything done that needs to be done and then give each child the attention that they deserve. I really do have a profound respect for single parents. Wow - I had no idea.

I just spoke with our realtor today and he thinks we should put the house up on the market at the beginning of June. Did he really say beginning of June? Like 2 weeks away? Seriously? Omgoodness!

He said it was up to me but there are a lot of people looking for houses in June since they want to be settled before the start of the school year. yikes...

Can you all pray for me? Pray that God will give me renewed energy. Lucy asked me why I yell all the time. That very comment brings me to my knees before my heavenly Father. I told her that I don't like to yell but I also don't like when they don't listen to me. And then I told her that I don't yell "all the time"....If I was yelling all the time then I would be yelling at her right now....she giggled....

I constantly realize that I cannot draw strength from myself. If I try that route then I fail. I need to draw it from Christ and He will renew my strength.

But those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:31

what is the point?

2010-05-15T15:34:00.000-07:00

Okay if any teachers are reading this from my kids school - I am sorry for stating my thoughts - ~~well actually maybe I am not so sorry~~ ; )

Science fair projects for 1st graders? Seriously? I am all about teaching our children but a full blown science fair project? I think my first one was in 7th grade!

Lucy is a bright child. She is always asking questions - always reading - always experimenting....BUT she doesn't know how to use google to search for science fair project ideas, she doesn't know what goes into a science fair project, she can't drive to the store and buy all the supplies, she can't take the data and put them into a graph form, etc.

Guess who the lucky lady was that got to do a science fair project? MOI!

Lucy wanted to do a project on the weather. Weather? Who cares about the weather?! I mean it is hot and 95 degrees here every day of the year so what is there to know? b-o-r-i-n-g

Then she wanted to do something on tornados...Ummmm....didn't want to figure out how to make some sort of tornado experiment - who knows - in my world I would have created a tornado gone wrong!

I wish I liked science in school but I was much more preoccupied with doodling on my science homework...

I was thinking SIMPLE! She was thinking complex. I would cheer her on if she could do it on her own but that clearly wasn't the case. She is only SEVEN!

So I came up with a grand idea to experiment with different brands of popcorn. I mean how hard can that really be? Pop 5 different brands of popcorn in the microwave and count the remaining kernels and see which one is the best popper....

Finally I won her over and she thought it was a grand idea especially since she was going to be able to eat the remaining popcorn....AND THEN....after all the popcorn was popped, after I printed everything and pasted it to the board she said: "Mom this popcorn thing has nothing to do with science - that is what my teacher said"...

seriously?

Then I made her call my parents and ask them what they thought.

So thank you Dad for telling her it was the best idea on the planet. When she got off the phone she had a new attitude since "granddaddy" said it was good.

Apparently I don't count.

I think I am done venting.

BTW: ACT II won the award : )

Moving forward...

2010-05-12T20:29:00.001-07:00

this is a wreath I made today - gosh I love pink!

These past couple of months I couldn't really blog about what was going on in my life because it wasn't final. But today it has become official that I am no longer an owner of Two Blue Doors, Inc. Surprising, right?! That's what I thought when I resigned...

I never ever thought I would walk away from a business that was so near and dear to my heart. I didn't see it coming. So often I think that I am the author of my life but I am constantly reminded that this isn't the case. Sometimes (okay - a lot of the time) HE has to shake me and remove my grip from what I think my life should be like or from things I put above Him.

I remember when I started my first company "The Envelope"...I was so surprised that God blessed me by actually allowing me to have my very own company that supported us all through medical school. I could have my own hours and could be flexible with Randy's schedule and the girls. I didn't have to take our kids to daycare and then go to work on someone else's schedule. And then Two Blue Doors was an even bigger blessing because I could work from San Antonio even though the store was in St. Louis.

A couple of months ago the Lord made it obvious that it was time to move on - so in response to this I threw a tantrum. I had many of conversations with Him telling Him how unfair the situation was - how unfair it was to have Randy gone - and I went on and on. And He listened. And at that point He reminded me about my emotions when we found out that we were moving to San Antonio in 2005... I was extremely angry - seriously, what does a midwest girl do in Texas? I was appalled that He would rip me away from my family and business in St. Louis and put me in what I thought to be a foreign country. But I learned fast. I was supposed to be here for 1 million reasons. I could write a book on the blessings that He has poured on me in San Antonio. I thought He was being mean but He was loving me so dearly - He was protecting me from so much and He knew the move would only cause me to grow in Him.

I have to say these last 2 months since I have resigned have been a little hard to get used to. Trying to balance work, kids, etc, was an art form that I almost mastered. I worked in the hospital while being in preterm labor with Maddie, I designed invites days after giving birth to each child, I worked on vacation, I worked at night, I worked when I had company in town, etc. But for the first time in my life with kids I am not working. I can actually enjoy things that I never had time for before. I have planted flowers, experimented with cooking, gone on long walks with the kids, stained the deck, gone out to dinner with no rush to get home and I have to say my life has slowed down quite a bit.

I do know with Randy being gone I am the only parent and the Lord is telling me that this is my job right now - to parent. This doesn't mean that I am still not exhausted ; ) but it does mean that I can take time and concentrate on what is most important in life.

Eventually but not immediately I will be launching MadLucy. I am praying for this new company and seeing what the Lord wants it to be. Obviously it will be stationery but I don't want to do custom anymore. It is in my blood to design. I dream designs - I walk around each day being inspired by things I see. I cannot stop designing and I don't think God wants me to stop either.

Lord - I am so thankful you are in control of my life and I am not. I am excited to see what your plan is for my life. I am also humbled by your grace, love and extreme patience that you have poured on me.

Be still, and know that I am God

Psalm 46:10

...........

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

psalm

2010-05-10T06:49:00.000-07:00

Psalm 64

Hear me, O God, as I voice my complaint;

protect my life from the threat of the enemy.

Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked,

from that noisy crowd of evildoers.

They sharpen their tongues like swords

and aim their words like deadly arrows.

They shoot from ambush at the innocent man;

they shoot at him suddenly, without fear.

They encourage each other in evil plans,

they talk about hiding their snares;

they say, "Who will see them ?"

They plot injustice and say,

"We have devised a perfect plan!"

Surely the mind and heart of man are cunning.

But God will shoot them with arrows;

suddenly they will be struck down.

He will turn their own tongues against them

and bring them to ruin;

all who see them will shake their heads in scorn.

All mankind will fear;

they will proclaim the works of God

and ponder what he has done.

Let the righteous rejoice in the LORD

and take refuge in him;

let all the upright in heart praise him!

my cutie patootie husband

2010-05-06T14:24:00.001-07:00

note: I am posting these photos without the consent of my husband ; )

Allow me to clarify.....

2010-05-05T11:44:00.000-07:00

I thought I would chime in today with some clarification of a statement on Elizabeth's last blog update. I have often heard that people who are deployed don't really tell their spouses, family, or friends what happens out here. I imagined it was because they didn't want their loved ones to worry about them. I thought this curious but didn't truly understand it until I got out here myself.

My personal thought on the matter is that part of the freedom that the troops out here are trying to protect is the freedom from knowing the atrocities of war, the brutality of human conflict, the suffering that goes on almost every day thousands of miles from home. It is the naivete of this ugliness that is fundamental to the relatively safe, comfortable, and free life that we live in the US. The media spins out a stream of such stories and anecdotes, but on the whole they are impersonal and disconnected from any particular individual. So the troop withholding some information from friends and family may be an attempt to maintain that impersonal distance from the frightful things in this world - a step beyond just having them not worry about the individual troop.

That being said...We do get reports on a regular basis of the events happening in our AOR (Area of Responsibility, I think). Our group of Combat Stress Teams covers an area the size of several counties that includes dozens of bases and out-posts. The reports that come in every day to every other day (that's where Elizabeth got that) include any injuries, medical evacuations, and psychiatric evacuations. The vast majority of members in those reports have minor injuries and are returned to duty. Infrequently, and its hard for me to gauge since I've only been here a few months, we get a report of a hero. This has happened only a handful of times since I've been here. So, the statement that "almost everyday someone dies if not every other day" may not even be true for troops in the entire country of Afghanistan, I don't know.

My most sincere apologies if, at worst, I said this, and, at best, I just did a bang-up job of mis-communicating while trying to avoid a sensitive topic with my baby.

So....don't worry about me. I have every intention and expectation that I will arrive back home in 3 months safe and sound, a big smile on my face, and no worse for the wear. With your fervent and steady prayers, God's mighty and gracious hand, my disciplined efforts to not be an idiot, it should turn out just fine.

²And pray that we may be delivered from wicked and evil men, for not everyone has faith. ³But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. ⁴We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command. ⁵May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.

2 Thessalonians 3: 2-5

checking off the list

2010-05-04T16:28:00.000-07:00

There is no coincidence that the sermon this past Sunday was on Romans 12:17-21...

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

My last post was on this very topic and I know I needed to hear it again.

There is so much going on here. I feel like everyday gets busier. There is a list that is never ending partly due to the fact that we are preparing to put our house up on the market. Not sure when we are moving but it will be right when Randy gets home. I am assuming the house will go on the market end of June / beginning of July.

This week I did accomplish one thing - I could finally check off filling out the admission forms for the girls to go to a Christian school in St. Louis. We are praying that they get in but we have missed the registration date and the spots are limited. I also had to fill out the forms for Sunshine Cottage since the girls will go there the first couple of months of the 2010 - 2011 school year. And these packets weren't short...

Now I just need to do the following:

- get new carpet for the house - I keep putting this off but there is no way we can sell the house with our current carpet - there has been everything on there from baby drool to puppy messes to kids getting sick to permanent maker to paint that John and the cousins had fun applying to the carpet. GROSS!

- finish staining the deck - I already put one coat on - go me! ; )

- finish planting flowers to create good curb appeal

- pack up all the clutter around the house

- organize closets and get rid of junk

- use the magic eraser and get rid of every smudge on the walls

- clean out the garage

And the list goes on and on.

I spoke with Randy today. Today for some reason has been especially hard. Every time I see his face it looks like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. I asked him if anyone dies over there thinking that they were all safe at the base or at least telling myself this was the case...He surprised me by saying that almost everyday someone dies if not every other day. Gulp. see next post

This is when the anxiety in me creeps in and I panic because I have no control. But again God is in control and I choose everyday to lean and trust in Him. It is my only dose of relief and peace.

I dream about the day that we get to see each other. I truly cannot wait.

I love you Randy ; )

wipers

2010-04-25T17:05:00.000-07:00

I remember somebody (I believe my pastor) used the analogy that life is like a windshield and if we don't have our wipers on (Jesus Christ) then we will be driving off the road in no time flat.

This has been my motto lately. I need to have my Jesus on daily in order to not get lost on some road way out in no mans land.

I often talk about those days where I really think someone is filming me because my life seems like a joke. I wake up to "Mom, I don't want to wear pants, I want to wear a dress?"...."But Maddie you need to wear shorts under your dress and the shorts are not clean"...."Mom, why aren't they clean?"....and then I roll out of bed and get my coffee. Yes, I have been drinking coffee for 1 week straight now. I bought a Keurig coffee maker because everyone who has visited is a coffee drinker.

Anyways - after driving the kids to school, laundry, picking up the house 100 times a day, making sure we have food in the house, making sure the bills are paid, making sure I take the trash out on the right day, making sure I have our schedules straight - don't want to show up at a birthday party on the wrong day, making sure I feed the dogs, making sure Lucy isn't glutaminated, making sure I haven't missed any birthdays, making sure I have my daily skype date with Randy, making sure I get the mail, making sure I check both email accounts and respond accordingly, making sure I send Randy mail and care packages, making sure I make my doctors appointments, ahhhhhhh and the list goes on and on.

You think you are on top of it when a certified letter comes in the mail from a collection agency. A collection agency? Yes - I forgot to pay our neighborhood fees because Randy usually takes care of this. I was going to call them and say "I am terribly sorry - we always pay on time but currently my husband is deployed"....but I thought to myself that they would really careless because there have been numerous situations where I have said the same thing and people either roll their eyes or they give me some remark like "that's life lady"...

Man O man.

Life beats down on us and what we don't offer one another in today's world is GRACE. Generally speaking - we only care about ourselves, we do things only for ourselves and we do things with the motto "what's in it for me?"....

I have also really realized that our society judges one another on numbers:

- how much do you weigh?

- how old are you?

- what is your salary?

- what zip code do you live in?

- what size jeans do you wear?

And the list goes on and on. You combine plain daily life with all the numbers we are judged on PLUS the way we treat one another. Where are we headed?

There is this one place on the way to the kids school where everyone has to merge. The nice thing to do is merge in the right lane about a half mile back and wait politely. But those people who think their schedule is more important than everyone else in line cut over at the very last second. AND I GO BANANAS! I mean come on - they need to get BEHIND me. I caught myself about to flick someone off but because my kids were in the car I did the "nicer" thing and flicked my lights at them for about 3 minutes. Oh wasn't that so nice of me?!

But then when I for some reason need to merge over at the last minute and some guy flicks me off I say "I cannot believe that guy has the nerve to give me the finger when I have kids in my car - what is up his hiney that he simply cannot let me over when I have my blinker on?"...

We are only one-sided. Do you ever think for a minute what might be going on in someone else's life? I have to say I have a hard time doing so. I get so wrapped up in my world that I forget the world happening around me.

But when I have my "wipers" on - I can see past me. Past my situations that are painful, lonely - asking God "why" a lot. But He takes this and uses my situations and I can then relate to others. I can then see past me with the grace He has shown me.

I heard a young woman talk about loosing her 11 month old to cancer. She said she had been learning a lot this past year. What she said caught me off guard. She said that she is learning not to trust herself but to trust what the Lord says about her. Since she lost her daughter she thought "what did I do wrong?"..."did I not spend enough time in the Word?", etc. But instead of doubting herself and questioning His love for her - she poured herself into His Word and learned what He really says about her.

Thankfully I am not in that situation. But my own situations often make me question my identity. I listen to the world and what it says about me so often....

I guess my point to this post is that without Jesus there is no hope. But with Him there is. When I spend time with Him I tap into His unfailing love, unending grace, forgiveness, strength and power to do things that are so not me but so Him. I don't see myself through the world's eyes but through His eyes - through the one who made me.

O LORD, you have searched me

and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue

you know it completely, O LORD.

You hem me in—behind and before;

you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, ^a]">[a] you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

If only you would slay the wicked, O God!

Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

They speak of you with evil intent;

your adversaries misuse your name.

Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,

and abhor those who rise up against you?

I have nothing but hatred for them;

I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:1-24

random

2010-04-25T15:37:00.001-07:00

The girls have been off school since Wednesday and I am SO TIRED! So tired that I slept in until 10:15 this morning and we missed church! John was still sleeping and the girls were playing so good that I didn't hear a peep. So I decided to take them down to the gluten-free bakery and then to a big park nearby. Here are some random photos from the last couple of days...

could these flowers really have come from the Scholma backyard? They are beautiful - in the 5 years that we have lived here we have not had roses - we have had rose bushes but not ROSES....I think Grandpa and Grandma must have done something to them when they were here a couple months ago?!

not sure what is going on ; )

our sweet puppy - bonnie (aka - bonnita, bonnifer, bonbons)

at the park today

lucy took this photo of maddie

just chillin'

another thing I made fun of before I had kids - "the car cart" - I have officially embraced motherhood head on!

9 years ago today...

2010-04-21T10:52:00.000-07:00

I had no idea what I was getting myself into ; ) HAHA! No seriously - I didn't. I had no idea that these past 9 years were going to be filled with adventure, great accomplishments, 3 beautiful babies, a new city, learning what it really means to be a wife, learning how to give and learning how to receive, balance, boundaries, vulnerability, joy, seeing God's faithful hand in our lives and marriage, heartache, patience, sickness, passion, encouragement, learning the true meaning of "I DO"...and I wouldn't change any of it (haha - well maybe some of it) but I wouldn't change the person that has walked by my side and who has remained loyal and true to me. The person who loves me no matter what.

Randy I am so proud of you. I am so proud that you are being selfless by serving our country. I am so proud of the man that you have become in Christ. I am so proud that you always put God first and then your family and then everything else then follows. God knew exactly who I needed when you walked into my life.

Lucy, Maddie, John and I are counting down the days until you are back home. Each one of us has our days with missing "daddy" but I am so glad that they think about you constantly and that you are still a vibrant part of this family. Yesterday Maddie was crying so hard and I thought she was hurt but through her sobs she said "I just want my daddy".

I am praying for you to come home safe but while you are there I am praying that God continues to do His will in your life.

I never would have thought that we would skype to celebrate our anniversary but I am so thankful that we could at least see each other.

I am yours always and am forever your faithful wife and companion.

Happy 9 years baby cakes ; )

fiesta

2010-04-20T17:10:00.000-07:00

It is Fiesta here in San Antonio! Fiesta is an annual spring festival held in San Antonio to honor the memory of the battles of The Alamo and San Jacinto. The kids are even out of school the rest of the week so they can enjoy the Fiesta festivities.

Lucy was selected to be a page in the Fiesta Court at school. She was responsible for holding the scroll and also giving gifts to King Antonio. King Antonio and his Cavelier came to the school and this is always a HUGE deal to the kiddos. I think being "King Antonio" is all political and social - these party boys live it up driving around town in their parade of Cadillac Escalades escorted by police on motorcycles. But hey - it's fun and they bring money to a ton of schools and organizations. It's all for a good cause.

Lucy in front of the school

Lucy and Olivia - the 2 pages

the sign welcoming King Antonio that I made ; )

sweet Maddie

King Antonio and his Cavelier

King Antonio honoring Mrs. White - the founder of Sunshine Cottage

Maddie doing her performance while sticking her tongue out at John - nice.

Lucy doing her "royal" bow ; )

While everything is going on - this is my son on the floor!

Another Week...

2010-04-18T09:23:00.000-07:00

Speaking of absentee bloggers, it again has been a while since I have put anything up. I don't have a whole lot to add today but a few pics of my latest mission. It is somewhere that I have visited before and so some of it may look familiar.

I was again startled at just how dark it gets at some of these smaller places that do not have ambient light. If I step outside without a flashlight, I don't think I could see my hand in front of my face. We get used to the light of the cities and towns we live in, street lights, lights from buildings, headlights from cars, there really are not too many places where a flashlight is necessary unless we are camping or live quite a ways out into the country. And keep in mind, that we are encouraged to use single LED flashlights, preferably with a colored bulb, so that we don't become walking targets at night. A sobering thought every time I pull mine out.

One observation that I will share is that I have noticed that I have been spending a lot of time with patients recently talking about their marriages - or more often what used to be their marriages. My estimate on the prevalence of marital problems among the troops is always going to be skewed because I we are the depot for dealing with these sort of things. Being away from home for a year at a time is very difficult on these families, especially if is their 2nd, 3rd, sometimes 4th or 5th deployment. I've heard several stories of people being gone for more than half of their marriage and they can be married for 7-8 years or more sometimes. It is clear that Satan takes full advantage of these situations as I often hear about cheating, lying, draining of bank accounts, even troops thinking they are getting a care package and its divorce papers. Each one of these is a sad case and it is truly a casualty of war as we know it, a casualty that gets little attention. I encourage you all to pray for the marriages of the military members that are deployed. Elizabeth and I have reaped the benefits of God's protection of our marriage as called down by the many prayers of our friends and family. If we can extend that protection to all those who are deployed in some small way, we can protect the hearts and minds of all those husbands, wives, and children whom this war affects.

So, here are some completely unrelated pictures of my last trip. It is spring in Afghanistan and although it rains occasionally, it is already hot and dry. You will see a hint of green in the distance in one of the pics, and that is about as good as it gets around here. I suppose it keeps the mosquito population down. Until next time.

absentee blogger

2010-04-16T18:52:00.001-07:00

I just dropped my parents off at the airport and we are now back to reality. My parents came on Tuesday - They visited my sister and her family in Austin first and then my sister drove them over. We were non-stop busy....back to the outlet malls, a trip to the Apple Store so my dad could purchase the new ipad (his entertainment for the week), Catherine and the boys spent the night on Tuesday night - talk about a very full house, got a babysitter so my parents and I could enjoy dinner sans kids, had friends over last night with their sweet kiddos - another loud but very fun night, and the list goes on and on. So to my few but faithful followers - this is the reason I haven't been blogging ; )

Yes, our son painted the bathroom with nail polish - should have known he was being way too "quiet"

I didn't take that many photos this week but these are the few that I took with my dad and Johnny

just when i needed them most!

2010-04-11T20:29:00.000-07:00

Krista (aka lantz, lantzer or kristeena) and Theresa (aka terry, t-dog or terrence) came to visit me this weekend. ~~They were~~ I was blessed to live with them in college. We were also in the same sorority - K-A-P-P-A G-A-M-M-A - That's what I AMa - A Kappa Kappa Gamma ; )

Anyways these girls are some of my dearest friends in the entire world. No matter how much distance and time has passed - we will pick up exactly where we left off. Theresa lives in Chicago and Krista lives in Milwaukee. So if it weren't for Mr. Paul Galat and Mr. Steve Rasmussen - we wouldn't have had a girls weekend. The guys were so wonderful to take off work on Friday to take care of their kiddos so Lantzer and Terry could fly here and well - take care of me and my kids ; )

We all agreed that we have never shopped so much in our entire lives. I think 12 hours straight on Saturday was a personal best. If anyone has visited me they know that we have the BEST outlet mall about 45 minutes away in San Marcos. They have every single store you could possible think of and many more. At every store we would pile in the handicap dressing room and try on a ton of clothes. We would get funny looks but who the heck cares! And after all the shopping I only bought a pair of capri jeans ; )

On a totally different note - have you ever tried www.taaz.com? OMGoodness!! This is the funniest and best site to get a make-over without really doing it. I seriously have not laughed as hard as I did last night when we were trying on "new looks". I got their permission to post these ; ) SO FUNNY!

Theresa's before photo

Theresa's after photo

Krista's before photo

Krista's after photo

I seriously have never laughed so hard!!

Anyways I dropped the girls off at the airport today after church. While driving away I got choked up because we are not supposed to live so far away from the people we love. And 48 hours is not long enough to completely catch up. But nonetheless I am so very thankful.

Over the weekend we were talking about coincidences. They had some stories and I had some stories about how some people would chalk events up to "coincidences" but we/I know that it the work of the Lord. And I know that it was no coincidence that the Lord planned these ladies to visit me this weekend. He knew I would need them this exact weekend to encourage and love me - especially during this time in my life with everything going on.

Theresa and me (aka Taeger, taeger-ator-ator or Bitha)

Theresa and Krista

Thank you Jesus for dear friends, laughter, encouragement and for caring about all the details in my life no matter how big or small.

2010-04-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

I thought it was about time I chimed in again for another round of pics and updates. The most exciting news from this past week was a trip to a couple of nearby FOBs - Finley-Shields and Hughie. The helicopter trip from JAF to Finley-Shields was 5 minutes...literally. It took way more time than that to schedule the flight. Still much safer than driving - which is an option.

We went to the FOBs not only because we have a few patients to see at each place, but because the providers there, both Physicians Assistants or PA's, are brand new. I took my Mental Health Tech with me so that we could take a tour of the place and give a face to Combat Stress to the new providers and people there. We had good visits with them, checked our how well (or not) their pharmacy was stocked, and tried to answer their questions.

We always try to leave some time just to hang around the FOB. This gives the soldiers there a chance to talk to us if they want to. If business is light, which it was at Hughie, we get a chance to take a break. This is about the only way to get a break sometimes with the hectic pace at JAF. The picture of the gazebo below is where we hung out for the afternoon. It was a beautiful day, about 80 degrees, birds chirping, nice and quiet.

Finley-Shields is an old Russian base that we took over and converted. There is some interesting old stuff there - the outdoor pool being one. The basketball court is a US addition. A pool just wasn't going to happen. We were busier at FS seeing some patients, meeting with the Chaplain, and talking to the providers in the Aid Station. Before we knew it, it was 1600 and time to catch our bird back to JAF. It was a nice break from the normal day in the office as well as a break of scenery. The smaller FOBs usually have better scenery and better food. We had lunch at Hughie and were astounded at how much better the food was. I guess the fewer people they have to prepare for the more care they can take with the food. We will be heading back there before our tour is over, I'm sure.

Well, I'll let the pics tell the rest of the story. We keep plugging along here. A few more weeks to the 1/2 way point for the deployment. Keep up the prayers, they appear to be working wonders.

The garden at Finley-Shields. Nice to
be here in the spring. Smelled great.

The pool, now basketball court. I wonder
how often the ball ends up in the deep end.

Kids mobbed us as we went down the road.
The all yelled "chocolate". Some were patting
my pockets in case I was holding back. We
had to finally "shoo" them away.

Typical building around here from what
I gather. Its pitched because I was moving.

The shelter we hung out in at Hughie. I read
a few chapters of my book out here.

No idea what this was all about, but
it looked picture worthy.

This is a pic from the end of the FOB.
The tower in the distance is the other end.

Just proof that I was here. I thought
The flowering tree was a nice backdrop.

Yes, I'm still here....

2010-04-06T10:43:00.000-07:00

Hello again. It has been a while since I have posted anything again. Part of the reason for that is that not much changes here, so I don't feel like I have much to add.

People have joked in the past about how being deployed is kinda like being in the movie "Groundhog's Day". Each day, we wake up and replay what happened yesterday...and the day before that...and the... There is some truth to that. It's a pretty common occurrence that I hear people asking each other what day it is. When my patient's make their next appointment, more often than not they ask what day it is today. There isn't a good way to mark the march of time here as everyone is essentially working 7 days a week plodding through the same daily schedule. It's not much different for me.

We shorten the clinic hours on the weekends and the main reason, I think, is so that there is at least a change. Locking the clinic door two hours earlier is about as refreshing as it gets out here. I still try to take Sundays completely off and I have been playing guitar for the morning church service. With practice on Friday nights, it is by far the biggest break I have in my schedule.

So in the spirit of the mundane, I have some not so exciting pictures to share this week. They are pictures of the "every day" part of my life. Just like when I shared pictures of my room, this is a glimpse into the ho-hum of my life. The door I walk through every day, the porto-john that I use in the middle of the night, and my "commute" to work. Not very exciting, for sure, but hey, I can't be flying around the country making house calls in a helicopter every day. So here we go...

Here is the door I walk in and out of
every day to get to my room.

Here is my "commute" to work.
All the way to the end and a little right.

Late at night, I even have a choice.
What could be better?
(Sounds like another post)

over the years

2010-04-05T18:22:00.001-07:00

easter 2005

easter 2006

easter 2007

(was raining so had to have photo taken inside ; )

easter 2008

easter 2009

easter 2010

He has risen!

2010-04-04T12:16:00.000-07:00

“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

John 11:25-26

peekaboo

2010-04-01T20:43:00.000-07:00

John had so much fun playing peekaboo with his daddy today. Here is more evidence of how upset John gets when we close the computer after skyping with Randy.

facebook

2010-04-01T17:38:00.000-07:00

For all of you that think I defriended you on facebook - I didn't. I deactivated my FB account because I need to eliminate some drama in my life. I am sure I will activate it sometime in the future ; )

skype

2010-03-31T18:21:00.000-07:00

I usually can skype Randy daily. We have changed our time so that Randy can see John as opposed to skyping late at night. This is pretty much how the conversation goes...

Every time we say goodbye and close the computer John cries for about 5 minutes. I think we are ready for Daddy to come home.

"In My Room"

2010-03-28T11:58:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that was a Beach Boys reference. What?

In the vein of giving ya'll a glimpse of the life of a Combat Stress Control doc, I thought I would show you the one place where I am not the doc, my room. During deployment, I have found, life becomes much simpler - for better or for worse. One such simplification is that the breadth of my roles has narrowed, or at least their representation has. Basically, outside of this 10x10ft room, I'm the CSC doc. Not only in my office, but in the chow hall, walking with my laundry, even playing ping-pong in the MWR. I'm not saying its a bad thing at all. I've been accepted and welcomed more than I thought I would. Even my patients greet me, or salute me if we are outside, with eyes of recognition. Well, most of them anyway.

Most everything else in my world has been relegated to this tiny room on the edge of the FOB. This little space contains me as a husband, a father, son, brother, friend, coworker... This is where I do my emails, blog updates, online chats, FaceBook, and whatever else connects me to the outside world. There are small exceptions as I do call home from my office upon occasion and Skype E and the kids from the MWR. But this is the place where I'm just Randy. Not "Sir", or Captain, or "doc". I never considered ahead of time the significant shift in practical priorities that this deployment would demand. Back home, I would work about 50 hours a week. That's 50/168. That still leaves the bulk of the week for my other roles. The time was always filled, but it was distributed, balanced. Out here, I figure I'm pushing about twice that number of hours invested in work. One thing that will likely keep me from burning out is that there is NOTHING ELSE! I have an external hard-drive full of movies and I haven't watched a single one yet.

So here is the little concrete and plywood bungalow that contains the balance of my life outside of work...for now. It turns out to be one of the nicest rooms of its kind because someone several deployment iterations ago had the foresight to build a lofted bed. Genius. There are no windows and two desk-lamps are my only sources of light. The walls do not go all the way to the ceiling, so we all have to be quiet. There are people in the building on all imaginable shifts, so there is likely someone sleeping at any given moment. So basically, it is always dark, cool, and quiet. Not all bad.

The hanger system made of cord was my only
original contribution. I leveled the shelves
using shims of thin rocks.

The bed is about 5 feet in the air.
Thanks for sending me supplies!

That is my "desk". Roughly cut plywood and
a shelf. What else could I ask for?

The door. AF uniform on the left.
Army on the right? Every morning
replays the great debate.

good girl

2010-03-26T20:51:00.000-07:00

Whenever I write my "serious" posts I pray that it is something that God wants me to post about. These past couple of weeks nothing was coming to mind until today...

I was raised in a christian home. Growing up I attended Christian privates schools. I accepted the Lord into my heart at a church camp when I was 12 even though my mom said I did it at an earlier age in which I do not remember.

While a lot of my friends decided to go to christian colleges and universities I decided to go to Miami University in Oxford, Ohio - a large Ohio State school. When my parents dropped me off at college it wasn't long before I realized that I was WAY out of my comfort zone. Since I was a Christian I decided to choose the all girls dorm as opposed to a coed dorm. Isn't that what Christian girls should do? While everyone went out on the weekends I stayed in and watched movies with my roommate and girls from my hall. And if I did go to a party - I took the stand that "I don't drink." I went to church every Sunday and attended every event that Campus Crusade had to offer.

My freshman year - second semester I pledged Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority since I was a double-legacy (my mom and grandmother were also Kappas) and I loved the girls. Taking the stand "I don't drink" in a sorority setting was let's just say a challenge. After the first couple months of being an active Kappa I realized I didn't have many Kappa friends because when they asked me to go out with them I would either go and be a party pooper by not drinking or I just didn't go at all. And let me tell how NOT fun it is to go to a college party sober with a bunch of drunk people.

I continued to be a "good" Christian and try to balance a sorority life and also attend every Christian event there was. When it was time to go home for the summer I was worn out. I had gained the freshman 20 - my clothes weren't fitting. I hadn't made a lot of friends. And to be honest the "Christian" events weren't doing anything for me. That summer I went home and lost 25 pounds, tanned a lot and came back with a plan. The plan was - well - to party! I was missing out on all the fun and the Christian life was really really boring and the Christians I had met were just so judgemental. So I was done. I actually told the Lord that I was going to "take a break" for a while - I also told Him not to go to far from me. Funny, right?!

Party I did. I have to say I had the time of my life. I suddenly gained about 100 friends and I was "accepted". I moved out of the dorms and moved into a house 0f 8 girls. At Miami everyone names their houses - ours was Distractions. How appropriate! I was living the college dream and loving every minute of it.

But after a couple years of this it slowly started to get old. My friends would always laugh because when we were at the bars I would start telling random strangers about Jesus - and yes, I was drunk when I was doing it. I would walk home and go to bed and then wake up with a hangover and think how twisted my life had become. I was getting drunk and witnessing to others - how odd!

I always was talking to the Lord and telling Him that I didn't want to live a boring life again - I didn't want to give up the partying and drinking because it was fun. And it was agony thinking about attending church each week and going to Campus Crusade Events. I couldn't think of anything worse.

One night I was at a bar and was pretty tipsy along with all my other friends. When I drank I ALWAYS had a cigarette in hand. Pretty typical. Well I decided to climb on top of the bar and dance with some friends. A cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other! Woo hoo. And then - the unthinkable happened. My freshman bible study leader walked into the bar and of course I was right in front of her. She did a double-take and stared at me. You see I did a pretty good job hiding my partying life from any of my church friends. Because there was a 99% chance that they wouldn't be at the bars. So - I was safe living my "double life". I later learned that she was trying to find one of her friends that had just turned 21. Nice.

I didn't really care that she saw me - and to be honest I didn't really care what she thought or what any of the "others" thought. What was impressed on my heart was what HE thought. I never stopped believing in Him. I just didn't want to hang out with His boring possy and follow all those boring rules. But this was a huge change because for the first time in my life I cared about what He thought as opposed to what my bible study leader was thinking. I had always cared about what everyone else thought of me.

College was really the first time in my life that I could choose what to do with my own life. It was also the first time in my life where I had the choice to live for Him or to not live for Him. And up until that point I thought I had always "lived" for Christ - or at least pretended to. Growing up we had no choice on whether or not we went to church or not. So at college I went to church because it was the right thing to do not because I wanted to.

After the bar incident I knew the Lord was calling me back to Him. And for the first time in my life I was broken. I wasn't considered a "good" Christian by any sense of the word. I didn't have that "good girl" image anymore which was my entire identity up until that point in my life.

But the Lord knew I needed to be broken. Before I took my 2 year vacation away from Him - I thought I knew what it meant to really "need" Him. But suddenly I had an entirely new meaning of what Christ meant to me.

As Christians we do a really bad job at living a facade. We pretend that everything is going well in our lives and then "try" to help those "in need" of Christ. I think that is pretty twisted... Because being a Christian is not about living a "good" life. It is about walking with the Lord. It is about a constant relationship with our God - Christ Jesus. If you have a struggle - share it! Someone else might have the same struggle and they might need you.

My point is that being a christian isn't pretending that we are perfect but sharing how Christ saves us from our imperfections. Wow that is a little profound for me ; )

In the Bible it clearly states that if we believe in Him we will be saved from eternal damnation. Where in the bible does it talk about the fact that good works save you? I have always thought about this concept of good works...it clearly does not make any sense. What happens if you are a "good" person and then you drink for the first time in your life and drive home and hit and kill someone? Are you suddenly going to hell? Well you are if you don't believe in Him. But not because you were a "bad" person. If we were all perfect we wouldn't need Christ. But clearly we aren't. And that is what I learned for the first time in college. Jesus is my saviour because I am sinful and He has saved me.

I underestimate the Lord so often. You see God did some amazing things even though I wasn't "following" Him in college. Some of my very best friends (sorority sisters) who witnessed this time in my life - now have also drawn closer to Christ. And I am so thankful for that.

Christ calls us to live a certain way and I often cross the line of trying to please man verses trying to please my heavenly Father. When we try to please man we are ALWAYS let down but when we please Christ He NEVER fails us. I have learned that I want to follow Him because I love Him and there is a life full of blessings when we follow Him. This life is crazier than any "party life" that you could ever have. This "ride" is so far from boring. He will have you doing things that you never expected nor anticipated. I promise.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast.

Ephesians 2:8-9

(part 2 coming soon)

boys

2010-03-24T17:54:00.001-07:00

Catherine and her boys just left today. She was only planning on staying for 1 night but 1 night turned into 3 nights ; ) My brother-in-law is also out of the country on a business trip this week. With 5 kids under 7 - let me just say - if I was planning on having more kids (which we are not) - I wouldn't be anymore ; )

Here are some photos at one of our favorite restaurants. I love it because the kids play in the sandbox and the adults can actually eat and have adult conversation.

My Latest Travels...

2010-03-24T10:37:00.000-07:00

Hello again, everyone. I wish the pace here were a little slower so I could make updates more often. I continue to alternate late nights at the office with earlier nights in bed. Truth be told, I have read 4 or 5 novels since I left home, so I do take some time to relax. I thought I would put up some pics of my last excursion "outside the wire". I went back to a COP, or Command Out-Post, that I had visited before to see some guys there. It is nearly impossible for them to see come see me, so I see them after their shift is over. This last time, I was seeing service-members until 11PM and I had someone knock at a little after midnight but he came back in the morning. It is hard to say how many of these guys would have had to leave theater short of finishing their deployments if we weren't out here. If I'm 8000 miles from home, its good to believe I'm making a difference.

I had a good overnight visit there. They put me up in the VIP suite as you can see below. It really is several steps up from the guys "hooches" as they call them. The room is several times larger than my room at JAF and having my own bathroom is a highly coveted luxury in theater. At the time I was there, the hot water heater on base had blown a fuse and my shower was the only hot water on the COP. A couple of guys took advantage of the room being unlocked and showered between patients. I couldn't really say no.

At one point in the evening, I had 7 guys, all about college age, wedged onto the beds as I did a smoking cessation class. They all wanted to quit smoking and/or dipping before going home so I had them all come at once so I didn't have to repeat my lecture. After a 20+ minute monologue on nicotine, withdrawal, oral habit, social habit, peer pressure, and that sort of thing, we talked about using medications to help them quit. I took down their orders and that was that. I didn't expect that to be such a popular idea on this trip, but what the heck.

I saw a few more guys the next day and hitched a helicopter ride back to JAF around 1400. Now the trick is to get the medications out to the guys, so its off to the pharmacy. We'll see how they react to a stack of prescriptions from another base. I can only try.

So here are a few pics with some captions. I'm off to bed for another day down.

Trucks keeping guard. This is taken from about
the middle of the COP. On the hill to the left is
a little guard outpost.

The view from my front door in the evening.

Proof that sunsets are cool across the
entire planet.

My office and bedroom. The guys usually
sit on the bed as I'm in the chair.

Entrance to the VIP suite. The bottles pull the
door shut with a rope. What more could you
ask for?

not much to say

2010-03-22T18:22:00.001-07:00

So much is going on in my life right now and I just don't have words to blog. I miss Randy so much and I the time seems to be creeping along. Catherine (my older sis) and her 2 boys came yesterday and then they will leave tomorrow. It is nice having adult conversation and company at night. Catherine and I skyped Randy last night and for the first time it was actually clear. It was so good to see his cute face ; ) Here is a screen grab of us skyping. Please continue to pray for us and for our little family. It means so much to me.

we are home - tooth and all!

2010-03-19T20:32:00.000-07:00

What a day! But I do have to say it went a lot better than I anticipated! I flew to Detroit and fell in love with my kids all over again. We hung out there for a little while and then took off to Atlanta. The kids were overjoyed because this was the first time they flew in a "big" airplane. The plane had 3 row of 3 seats across and each seat had a built in TV. They were in heaven. Usually we fly on the smallest airplane that American Airlines has to offer - it is TINY.

It is hilarious because every time we get on a plane people ask if this is their first time flying. Each kid has flown so much that they all have earned a free ticket because of their flyer miles. They are troopers! If you lived in San Antonio you would also use a plane as your mode of transportation - it takes a week just to get out of Texas ; )

As you can see from the photo below - my son has a habit of getting a little too comfortable. Mr. Nice Guy on the way from Atlanta to San Antonio - thank you for being a saint and putting up with my wiggly worm of a child.

Lucy lost her tooth on the airplane. This is the funniest thing because when I saw it is was hanging by a thread. I told them before they left for Michigan that the tooth fairy would only bring them $1.00 if they lost a tooth up there. So she held onto it until she could loose it around me so she could get the ridiculous amount of $5 per tooth. The tooth fairy is officially broke. So - to all of you who haven't reached this stage yet - don't start "big" - stick with $.25 like I used to get way back when. Maddie will probably loose her tooth tomorrow so I will officially be $10 poorer.

waz up with the feet on the tray?

waiting in Atlanta for our flight to SAT

Lead Me

2010-03-17T19:17:00.000-07:00

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

Lead Me to the Cross - Hillsong

video here

piano lessons and fake toenails

2010-03-17T15:26:00.000-07:00

So I have heard thanks to Aunt Julie (randy's sister) we will start piano lessons this summer ; ) The girls have been begging me to take piano or violin lessons. I keep pushing it off because I am assuming they don't have a bone of musical talent in their blood. But I keep reminding myself that they are "half" Randy and if they have his blood then they might actually have a chance ; ) Here is a video from Papa Scholma - Enjoy!

I have 1 more day left here in town and I am so ready to see the kiddos. I am enjoying my last day with my mom, dad and little sister. It has been wonderful reconnecting with them by staying here for the past 2 weeks. No matter how old you get your mom still tries to take care of you. I LOVE it!!

And don't laugh but I seriously tried "lee press on toenails" - Girls I am telling you IT WORKS! I am hesitant about posting a photo of my "toes" but you just have to see this instant pedicure! All it takes is some glue and you are good to go! And I am all about anything and everything that saves time - haha! The nails appear a little "long" for my taste but hey this was the first go around. And you can tell if you look really close (I would recommend not doing this) but I went a little crazy with the glue. So, my review is 4.5 out of 5 stars for lee press on toenails. Am I really writing this?

cooking class

2010-03-15T21:56:00.000-07:00

My mom and I took a gluten-free cooking class tonight. I have been wanting to do this for so long. Since I am now the chef of the Scholma household then I gotta learn to cook ; )

For all you that don't know what a gluten-allergy is...

I have Celiac Disease which is an autoimmune disease. My body actually fights itself when I digest gluten. Gluten is in Barley (think alcohol), Wheat (no baked goods), Rye and Oats (oatmeal). When I first went in for an endoscopy the lining of my colon was really smooth and this is really bad. You are supposed to have a billion villi in your colon that sort of look like little fingers. These villi take in all the nutrients that your body needs. If you don't have them then you aren't getting any nutrition.

I was diagnosed 4 years ago and after giving up cake, a ton of my favorite cereals, doughnuts, cookies, pasta, etc. my stomach is back to normal (except for the baby pooch from having 3 kiddos - haha). But thanks to the nice people at large corporations - they are making some pretty great substitutes. Betty Crocker - I want to personally shake your hand for making some of the best brownies (gluten-free) I have ever had in my entire life. Actually - I might even hang your photo on my refrigerator.

So if any of you have been told that you have IBS - think again. Get tested for Celiac - you won't loose anything by doing so! Some very common symptoms of Celiac Disease are sinus infections that don't go away, skin problems, stunted growth, headaches, stomach aches, etc. The list goes on and on! If you have any questions - feel free to ask me!

A Day In The Life...

2010-03-15T11:35:00.000-07:00

This post is in response to an e-mail my mom sent me today. She asked of me one of the first questions I asked of the person I was replacing when I found out I was being deployed. "What is a day like there?" So...here is goes:

0700: Rise and shine, its time for a healthy breakfast. Well, not quite. By the time I actually crawl out of bed, put on my uniform, boots, holster, and hat, shave, and brush my teeth, its time to start seeing patients.

0800: The crew (Katie, the brigade psychologist, and MC, our Mental Health Tech) arrives along with the first patient. I usually try to schedule a patient I already know so that we take only 30 minutes of the hour slot. This allows me to then get some breakfast, make some Kreuger coffee (shout out to the Arnspergers), and maybe put a call in to home. 8:30AM here is 10PM the night before there so I can catch Elizabeth before she goes to bed. Now that the time changed in the US, it looks like I'm going to have to call before the first patient. Ouch. I have patients scheduled every hour until noon. The time between patients is usually filled with typing their notes, answering questions of people who walk in, or answering questions on the phone. Telephone consults for me usually come from other Mental Health providers in our part of Afghanistan who are not MDs. There is a Psychiatrist like me in maybe 1 in 10 FOBs in this area. There are Psychologists, Social Workers, and Mental Health Nurses in the other locations along with a General Practitioner. The MH provider calls me with the patient's story, I make medication recommendations, and the GP writes the script and manages the meds. Its not perfect, but its better than nothing.

1200: Lunch. Ah, the DFAC (Dining FACility). The food is mediocre on average with some things done well (the chicken nuggets and salad bar are always safe) while other items do not appear to be actually edible nor can you tell by looking at it or by its enigmatic name what is in it. We usually eat as a group with other officers from the Aid Station and the brigade.

1300: Back to seeing patients until 1600 or 1700. I am usually booked out 2-3 days in advance, so it is rare for me to have a slot open. I am saved by having 1-2 no-shows per day. People either forget or their missions don't allow them to get to the clinic that day. MC sometimes holds smoking-cessation classes in the afternoon, so I talk to the patients about medications that might help them quit and write a few scripts.

1500: Neither Katie nor I had a patient scheduled today, so we went and played Ping-Pong for an hour. She is quite good and we usually end up splitting the games. I won a game 28-26 a couple of days ago. Awesome. Once a week I sneak out to drop off my laundry or pick it up the next day.

1800: Usually I'm able to wrap up my notes for the day around this time. My latest has been 11PM but I saw 10 patients that day, each for 30-60min and I write a 1-2 page note for every encounter. The notes can stack up quickly if I don't write a few when I get a chance between patients or during lunch. Besides, its dinner time and every Friday night is "surf & turf". The steaks are actually pretty good. The lobster tails or crab legs are real....overcooked. But hey, their trying. Slides down just fine with lemon and butter.

1930: Time to hit the gym on M-W-F. This is much more about sanity than vanity (like that?). I sit and listen all day so working up a sweat and listening to my tub-thumpin' is my therapy. I didn't do this as much as I would have liked back home and I can tell that I feel better because of it now. I've gained 10lbs since I left home which is quite a feat to anyone who knows me.

2100: Time to hit the showers and have a snack. I hit the DFAC again for some cereal or ice cream. They have these great Mango sorbet bars here. After that I try to communicate with home in some way. I call home when Elizabeth is there. Since she is in St. Louis right now, I go the the MWR (rec room) and call over Skype with my headset. If not that, then I write e-mails from my room. The internet is so slow in my room that it is useful for little else. It takes about 45 minutes to check my the blog and facebook. When I'm uploading pics, I usually have my book in the other hand.

2300: That's it! Devos and bedtime. I finished reading Matthew and now am a little ways into Romans. Pray for the wife, kids, and fam, check the alarm, and I'm done. Just to do it all over again the next day.

There it is. The basics of my existence here. There is, of course, some variety such as playing Risk with the Chaplains, watching movies, traveling to other FOBs, and the like. We make the best of our time here and everybody works pretty hard. May the good Lord keep us all safe and bring us home soon. Until next time....

stolen photos

2010-03-14T17:42:00.001-07:00

I stole these from my brother-in-law's Facebook page. I have talked to the kiddos several times and they are doing well. They are sleeping 12 hour nights and are playing hard during the day. As the days go by I miss them more and more and cannot wait to wrap by arms around their little bodies.

On Friday I fly out of St. Louis and then will pick them up in Detroit. We then have a 2.5 hour flight to Atlanta with an hour layover and then another 2.5 flight to home sweet home. I think we will all be wiped out. But that is okay because I am charged and ready to be a mom again ; )

Here are photos of the kids playing airplane with Uncle John:

couponing

2010-03-11T17:45:00.000-08:00

Back in college I was at church and the Lord laid it on my heart to put $20 in the offering plate. Now $20 to a college kid is a HUGE amount of money. But I did trust that HE would provide. That following week I was traveling back home for some sort of break. It was for some party or something - all my relatives were at my parent's house. By the time the weekend was over my dad, my uncle, my grandfather and grandmother had each given me $20. Yes, I made my way back to college with $80 in hand. Now I am not saying that giving to the church is like playing the lottery but I am saying if you give to the Lord - He WILL take care of you.

Okay about coupons... I used to spend around $1000 a month on groceries. Now this included those random trips to Walgreens, etc. for diapers, milk, etc. By using coupons our monthly grocery bill is around $250-$350.

Coupons have been huge! What I didn't know before my coupon-obsessed-life is that some stores will combine a store coupon with a manufacturer coupon. For example...On Targets website you can print Target coupons - these are different than what you find in the paper. Make sure when you print them to look at the top and see if it says "store coupon" or "manufacturer coupon". Anyways say Target had a store coupon for $1.00 off Degree deodorant and then you also had a $1.50 manufacturer coupon for Degree deodorant - and the price of the deodorant is $2.50 then you would only have to pay $.01! By combining the coupons you receive a HUGE savings. Walgreens and CVS are also some of my favorites for free or nearly free deals.

Here are the websites that I use to print coupons:
www.coupons.com
www.redplum.com
www.smartsource.com
www.printablecoupondeals.com

Here are my favorite "deal" blogs. These sites will also explain how each store works with their own "deals". These ladies are constantly updating their sites with INCREDIBLE deals that the public isn't really aware of.

www.swaggrabber.com
www.hip2save.com
www.moneysavingmom.com
www.commonsensewithmoney.com

If you have any questions about how any of the stuff works I would be MORE than happy to answer them! Once you get started you will be hooked! I once went to Target and my total rang up at $118.34 and after coupons I only paid $9.30. I PROMISE! It makes you giddy ; ) and you almost feel guilty paying so little for so much stuff!

ENJOY!

singleness

2010-03-10T12:31:00.000-08:00

I am currently living a life of a single person. But I have to say I am missing the kiddos. For 7 years I have had someone attached to me in one way or another and I feel naked without them ; ) But I don't think I have slept this much in a very long time. And it feels sooooo good.

I have been working everyday at the store. I am getting a lot of work done and meeting with a lot of clients. It feels good to be here.

I am taking Thursday and Monday off to spend time with my parents and sister.

I have talked to Randy a couple of times but it always seems so rushed and I just have to say I am missing him so much. I constantly have a pit in my stomach because I want him here. I find myself trying to pick up the phone to call him and I can't. Ugh. The time seems to be dragging but to everyone else it is going fast.

I continue to ask the Lord what His plan is while we are apart. Since I can't call Randy I do find myself talking to Him more - and I have to say that is pretty cool.

I will upload photos of the store later. I am sure you all are just so excited to see more photos of me : )

this makes me smile

2010-03-08T07:42:00.000-08:00

For you make me glad by your deeds, O LORD;
I sing for joy at the works of your hands.

How great are your works, O LORD,
how profound your thoughts!

Psalm 92:4-5